I have decided to turn my constant parental ravings into something positive by creating a comic book hero, based on my son. He is the most irritating human being on the planet. Sometimes, he truly doesn't have a clue that he is being irritating and he doesn't get why his father and I go off at him. Sometimes, he tries to be irritating and he is REALLY GOOD at it. He knows how to push all my buttons so that I get unbelievably enraged.
The Adventures of Irritating Boy(subsequently referred to as IB) and Irksome Kitty(IK) will be about a boy and his cat who are so incredibly irritating that they render their enemies insane by the power of irritation, thus incapacitating them by making them helpless, sniffling idiots.
Last week, E, the real boy, finally perpetrated the ultimate irritating act. After years of warning him NOT TO DRINK LIQUIDS NEAR THE COMPUTERS, the inevitable happened. He spilled OJ all over the laptop keyboard. We tried our best to wipe it down, but by the next morning several of the keys weren't working, although the laptop still was. I called my computer guy who recommended I try cleaning the keyboard with Fantastick. I don't know which liquid did the ultimate damage, but after that nothing on the keyboard worked. Then, later that night, when I turned on the laptop, it emitted a horrendous, very high-pitched noise and a blank screen. Even with my limited knowledge of computers, I knew this was definitely not a good sign and I immediately turned it off. The next morning, I turned it on, hoping it had somehow "healed" itself over night. I got that bad message that either the hardware or the software was damaged and I needed to reinstall something or other. At that point, I gave the laptop its last rites.
So, I thought we could have an episode of IB and IK where some evil masterminds have captured our dynamic duo. They find themselves in a room of computers (plot device) and IB asks for a glass of water for himself and for IK. While IB is diverting the attention of the bad guys, IK manages to knock over the glass of water on the computer which renders the security system useless and our super heroes manage to escape. Hmmmm. That really doesn't sound very plausible, does it? I'll have to put some more thought into their adventures. Anybody got any great ideas?