Then and Now: Female Cartoon Sluts

Then and Now: Female Cartoon Sluts

Hanging out with my 3yr old niece has been quite the interesting experience as I've started to notice some new trends in children's programming. I knew what I grew up with, and it wasn't shows like 16 & pregnant. It was shows like Inspector Gadget, Ninja Turtles or Chip 'N Dales Rescue Rangers. Sometimes, I'd have to hang out with female cousins and that lead to Care Bears, Strawberry Shortcake or My Little Pony. So when my niece started watching the same shows, I had to do a double take. Well, a double take and some research. Alright, a double take, a research and then this blog.

Have you SEEN what these 20+ year old cartoon characters look like now?! In case you haven't, allow me to share.

My Little Pony

These pretty little ponies went from a bunch of healthy looking young horses to a group of emaciated infant whores! Streaks in their hair, big batty eye lashes. These girls are gonna be looking to hit up a salon at 9 years old just to get highlights and probably started on a prescription of Latisse. Like, I'm not crazy here, am I? The new little ponies look WAY trashier.

Care Bears

We all remember the Care Bears. Cute little plumpy, cuddly bears. You just want to take them home and have your own little pack of them. Just...just look how loving and happy they are with their full bellies that contain all of their magic. New Care Bears...not so much.

Now they're apparently anorexic and not eating before hibernation because they'll burn way more calories that way. They're thinner, younger and apparently way happier. Well...except for Grumpy...he's still Grumpy....looking a little more like Emo-y, actually. The yellow one is ready to teach a gym class, the green one is tripping balls and the two in the back are going to "Jack & Rose" swing until they've ground through their teeth with the all the ecstasy they dropped.

pedo-bear-strikes-againDon't you get the feeling that they stopped with the idea of "this is what you want to grow up to be" and instead it's "you're a kid, you're already grown up!" It's like they've lifted the restrictions of youth and now they can just do whatever they want. Which, in this case, is probably going to make them grow up to look a lot more like the bear on the right.

Strawberry Shortcake


Ahhh, the loveable Strawberry Shortcake. She's cute, she's got friends....wearing jeans and cargo pants and overalls. They're all gonna have a good time together. This, this little diverse group of friends were going to learn about each other and the world.

Now, well shit, looks like they're gonna someone else learn all about them. And I didn't cross dress in high school, so you'll have to forgive my memory here, but wasn't the ruling that the skirt couldn't be above the knees?! But this, THIS group is what little girls are watching. No more boyish one in the group. SHIT, they even made the dark skinned girl LIGHTER skinned. They're skinny, they're fashionable, they're probably botox-ed. It's the new Strawberry Shortcake paving the way for your nieces, daughters, sisters, cousins to...well, c'mon, you already know.

More Cartoons

I know for a fact I haven't captured all of them here. I'd love to hear what else I missed!

Filed under: Tips for Life



Leave a comment
  • fb_avatar

    Surely you know of the large, intense fanbase of teen and adult men ("bronies") surrounding the new reboot of MLP? Anyway, the "before" MLP picture you posted isn't from your childhood but from the mid 2000's, and those characters also have long lashes and streaked hair (see upper left). The "new" MLP, developed by avowed feminist Lauren Faust, actually has multiple tomboy characters and significant cartoon violence.

    And while I'm at it, that's not the original Strawberry Shortcake (which had characters with short skirts and socks the same as the new characters.) And that's not the newest Care Bears either.

  • If your reference is anorexia, the description of anorexic whore sure has to apply to Olive Oyl in the Popeye cartoons. Of course, Wimpy wasn't.

    And, unless the ponies are humping each other, or Prince Charles...

  • I, unfortunately, cannot agree.

    My Little Pony - The older ponies you've posted have hair streaks, too, and I honestly don't see much of a difference in their body weights. I love the new My Little Pony series because each pony has a different personality and interests. It teaches girls that they can be different and express their individuality, unlike the "old" pony universe, in which all ponies were identical, hyper-feminine, and fashion-obsessed. Honestly, I'm not trying to criticize- please just watch it sometime, it's on Netflix!

    Care Bears - Again, I think the term "anorexic" is being abused here. They all clearly have tummies and meat on their cheeks. The extension of their arms and legs to be more human-esque doesn't automatically mean they have eating disorders. I wish you wouldn't throw around the term so lightly. Unfortunately, I've not seen the show so I cannot comment on its content.

    Strawberry Shortcake - These girls just seem to have had a fashion update to fit in better with modern girls. The "old" photo shows just as much arm and shoulder flesh.

Leave a comment