But seriously, I still love her!

But seriously, I still love her!

You know the scene: You made it through another 8-hour work day.  You fooled everybody by putting on the "I'm better than ever" mask and for a moment you might even believe that you have fooled yourself into thinking you ARE doing better.  You get home after skipping the gym, you sit down in your empty place, and you.......just......REFLECT!

"We were so happy..."
"Things were so good..."
"I'll never find someone like that again...."
"If I could just get one more chance with her I know I could show her how great I am"


We're tired of hearing it, we're certainly tired of seeing you mope about it, and here's the truest part; SHE DOESN'T GIVE A SH*T ABOUT YOU ANYMORE!  Is that clear enough for you?  Holy sh*t, with all the sugar coating your friends have been doing, I'm surprised you're not a f*cking diabetic by now!

She is gone, she has moved on, she's banging somebody else, she's probably going to fall in love, marry him, have his children, and celebrate 50 years together.  See, you just heard all the things you never wanted to hear and guess what???  YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!  How about that, you're not going to die without her!  Giving somebody your heart is just a figure of speech...you took that metaphor to the bank!

Now that the worst is out of the way, lets start reflecting on the things that you should have been reflecting on all along...like, your feelings.  I don't mean how "hurt" you are right now...I'm talking about the real feelings, the raw emotion behind this sad, pathetic, display of mourning you've been wallowing in for the past three weeks.  WHY are you feeling so hurt?  WHAT are you really so sad about?  If anything, I think you should be ecstatic. If this person is even half the person you are making them out to be, you should be thankful you got to spend the time with them that you did and even more thankful that you get another chance to experience that same rush with someone new.

"But she was the one..."
Really, was she?  Remember just a month ago; how you considered breaking up with her because you couldn't stand the way she acted when she was around your friends?  Oh yeah, she didn't mind you hanging out with her friends, but when she was around yours she was always:

or "didn't feel like partying"
or "you had something to do the next day, so you had to call it an early night"
Remember the little ways that she tried to change you that you just ignored and chalked up to "compromising".  The dictionary defines compromising as "an agreement reached by an adjustment of opposing claims"...well I've got news for ya, YOU changing all YOUR ways just so you don't have to hear her bitch anymore isn't "compromising"...it's called being "TRAINED".  You might as well be eating food from a bowl on the floor, because you have become nothing more than a house pet.  Only instead of a cookie after every trick, you are tempted with a mediocre f*ck once or twice a week. I'm pretty sure the exchange rate of "compromise" to "sex" has bottomed out at your place.

Which, now we get down to the root of the problem.  The sex....  You don't overly miss HER, you miss the convenience of having somebody you are attracted to bang you without bankrolling yourself at the bar, lying about your job, or pretending to like the Notebook.  You miss the convenience of sex!  You trick yourself into thinking it's better than it is, because it's EASY.

Remember the first time you had sex with this girl...wasn't it exciting?  Of course it was; it blew your mind and back then she probably blew you!  But, why was it so good?  Because she was the one?  Get serious before I smack you across the face with a set of inflatable tits that have "I told you so" tattooed on them!  Sex wasn't good because she was "the one".  Sex was good because it was a challenge; you were enticed, you were intrigued, you felt desired!!!

Now that you've been together for a year you are starting to feel like sex is a chore and you just aren't always into it...but the thought of it going away completely scares you into thinking you'll never have it that good again. People stay at jobs they hate because they are comfortable and are afraid of the "unknown of something new".  Don't you start turning into this middle aged, gutless, crybaby that conforms to a life of pocket lint and broken dreams just because you're afraid you'll never have something as good as you had it.

I'm not a big "if it's meant to be, it will be" kind of person.  That just sounds like a lazy mindset and something to blame things on.  But I do believe that this girl isn't the one for you because of just how big of a pussy you have become!  "The one" wouldn't be someone that makes you feel insecure, shallow, pathetic, lonely, and heart broken.  "The one" will make you feel alive, enthralled, rejuvenated, confident and loved.  This bitch gave you one good day and played the role she was designed for...toughening you up for the future.  You should send her a "thank you card" just for showing you what kind of girl you don't want to be with.

"But she said she loved me"
...yeah, she did, now she doesn't anymore.  Remember how you loved watching Sesame Street when you were a kid, but if you had to sit through it now you'd rather f*ck yourself with a fist? Well...sorry to say, but you're Sesame Street and she's looking for a fist.  You need to get out and do the same.  It's ok to love her and be sad, but for f*cksake, you're depressing everybody else around you.

Get out of your house, get out of your head, and get out of your rut.  Go the gym, get back in shape, hang with your friends, have some laughs, meet some random people, make some new friends and send me an e-mail at vince@soyouhaveagirlfriend.com when you get over this gutter skank, and thank me for the pep talk.  By the time you get over her, she'll be coming back to you, which will prove my point that this WHOLE THING WASN'T REAL.  If she were anymore fake she'd be sold in Chinatown!

Of course, this is just the two cents of a broke man.

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