Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words HURT forever

It’s likely that your kids are being bullied, possibly everyday. They may be called names such as bums, stupid, or even ugly. Often times they may even be made to feel worthless and as though they can’t do anything right in this world. As adults, I’m sure many of you can relate to feeling beat down at one point in your life, whether it was by your boss or an ex mate. Isn’t it awful? Imagine waking up and having someone repeat these negative affirmations into your life everyday, could you handle this? Being called names 24/7, being taunted and beat down is no easy feat, but some of your kids have to endure it and it’s not the boy on the school bus doing this to your child; it’s not the teachers at the school doing this to your child; it’s not even the classmate sitting next to your kid, it’s you!

If you have ever been frustrated and took it out on your kid, most likely you have said something hurtful to him or her; If you have ever called your kid worthless after they messed up then you fit the bill; if you have ever asked, “are you stupid?” it’s still the same thing; even if you have said something similar to “you look hideous in that” and your intentions were good, you still are guilty of bullying your kid. Some people may disagree with me and that’s fine, but if your child or teen agrees with me then you have a problem on your hands.

Bullying has gained national attention as the rate of suicide among youth has increased. However, most of that attention has been focused on cyber bullying or bullying among youth and not bullying by parents. Parental relationships are the first meaningful relationships that a child will have. They are supposed to be nurtured and loved, but if the child isn’t feeling loved then what type of future relationships will they have? Calling your child names and degrading them is tearing them down before they ever enter into the real world. If a child is called stupid, ugly, or bad by their parent won’t they begin to believe this? Spirits are broken when people are abused, especially children. Parents are supposed to provide a healthy foundation for the child to grow into a productive adult but how productive can you be when you are told that you are worthless and you don’t even feel liked or loved by your parents. Sometimes parents try to make up for their actions or lack there of by buying the child the world but if your still calling them names your gifts are as worthless as they feel.

I have heard parents call their children female dogs (b*tches), stupid idiots, ugly mother so and so’s and so on. It breaks my heart because I can see a piece of the child diminish with every insult. For you parents that get frustrated with your children and are guilty of doing this, please think about how you felt when you were berated or how you would feel if it were you and stop to say something more encouraging or positive. For example, if your child forgets to do chores, instead of saying that they are worthless, just work with them to find a solution so that they won’t forget next time. It’s nothing like setting a good example because your kids are always watching.

Also, for you young adults experiencing this from your parents, if you haven’t tried already to talk to them, please do so. They may not understand the detriment that they are causing for you. Stay encouraged and know that even when others don’t see you worth, your value still remains high.

Parents keep in mind…“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

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