By A Comeaux
Today there is an internal war going on and I’d like your assistance.
Ladies, can we talk about the pros and cons of dating someone in your child’s world? The little league coach, schoolteacher, athletic instructor etc., are all people in your child’s life but not in your life.
These aren’t people your child may look at as a suitable mate for you. You allow these familiar strangers in your child’s life for the purpose of their expertise. How would it look if your child answered the door and their coach was there, they’d ask, “Hey Coach So & So, what’s up…? “Nothing much little man, here to pick up your mom.” *jaw drop!
Is this wrong? As a single-mother, where is a safe place to meet and date in terms of our kids?
When #mySun played little league football I was one of the few single moms on the field. There were always uncles, brothers, and coaches that were ‘extra friendly’ with me, even flirted at times.
Once, while walking to my car one guy from the team ran up invite us out to lunch in a ‘playdate’ manner. Before I could oblige #mySun said sternly ‘no thank you we’re not hungry’…
I was taken aback and sided, of course with #mySun, in the car I said I thought you liked him, you guys always laugh together and he chats it up with you, why were you mean? Without blinking or thinking he replied, ‘I did like him until he started talking to you, now I think he’s silly’ (mind you he was about 6 at this time).
I had no personal interest in this man other than his involvement in my baby boy’s life and establishing a sense of camaraderie. Never before or anytime after that have I had any personal conversations with anyone in his world.
I felt like I owed him that space.
I owed him that respect to not taint or interfere with his environment that is one of the few things he can call his own. It’s a thing that isn’t about ‘mommy;’ this is his social life. But am I wrong if I date someone I met by way of him? Am I wrong if I entertain someone ‘that’ way? And what are some of the repercussions? Have you ever dated someone in your child’s world? How’d it go? How’d it end? How’d your child take it (before and after)?
I’m A Comeaux and I need to know the pros and cons of dating in your child’s world… #pleaseRespond
A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke.
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