Even though it’s been over ten years since my divorce, people still ask me, “How can you be happy after an unexpected divorce?” And my answer is, it’s possible over time with self-evaluation, self-love and self-empowerment.
Now don’t get it twisted, all these self-things were not easy.
The struggle was real but most importantly I did not give up!
I was forced to look in the mirror and ask myself a few questions, “What was my contribution on why the marriage ended? Could I have been a better wife? And how will I get through this and get my happy back?”
I knew this would not be an easy task but it all started with me being honest and true to myself. While I was not the perfect wife, I was a good one. Yes, there were things I could have done better and more but I could not change the past. Once I gained an acceptance and understanding of that, I was ready to move on.
The key was learning from my past so I could prepare for a brighter future. I didn’t date immediately as I did not want a rebound guy or end up with divorce #2.
It actually took me two years to get back on the dating scene. I took some time to get to know me. I needed to understand what made me happy because at the time I was depressed. I spent a lot of time alone in my feelings and thoughts with and without prayer. But when I started dating, I had fun!
Once I started to get to know myself again, life became easier and I had an epiphany. I realized that I lost myself in my marriage. I did everything for him…meaning my life and dreams revolved around him and his happiness. Instead of standing up for myself, doing some of the things I wanted to do; I became the woman he wanted me to be. It was then that I asked myself, “When was the last time you were truly happy in life?”
The day that I answered that question is the day my life changed!
That was the day I found my happy after my divorce and I have been living it up ever since!
Please note that going through a divorce is not the end of your world, it is the beginning of a whole new world for you. Take time to do all the self-things…self-evaluation, self-love and self-empowerment then you will you be divorced and living it up too!
Have a Happy Summer!
Beauty School Scarlet has an addiction for products and wants to be your personal critic for all things beauty. Let her try before you buy! Follow her on Twitter @ABeautyScarlet
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