The Single Woman's Warm Heart, Cold Bed Syndrome

The Single Woman's Warm Heart, Cold Bed Syndrome
It's not easy being single. (Posed by professional model). Photo: ImageryMajestic

By A Comeaux

Certain parts of my heart hurts. The part that anticipates a call from a lover.  The part that looks for a text from the admired. It hurts. Right where butterflies used to flutter, feels like embarrassing gas. Don’t front, you know what I’m talking about…

Being single isn’t easy.

I read a Facebook rant the other day, from low-key bashing women in unfulfilled relationships. The ‘half of man better than no man’ types were defending their stance on why they stay after infidelity and other matters that deem to be deal breakers.

Married women, and those in presumed healthy unions, bashed such low-thinking ladies via memes, status updates and love song quotes with biblical connotation… Oh it got real!!

I skimmed through my newsfeed as always but today those thoughts penetrated now more so than ever. It really isn’t easy being a single woman.

We’ll throw in single mothers another day… But being single in and of itself is a challenge that most are not up for. While we live in the age of the Independent Woman, the Grown Woman, the women that ‘don’t need no man for nothing’ we are still women!

We have needs that span beyond the bedroom and the kitchen. We are emotional. We are passionate. We are opinionated and concerned about affairs beyond our grasp.

Having someone, anyone, at home after a bullying day at the job means millions. Having an ear to listen to the woes of life in the 9-to-5 helps. Having a body that desires you beyond the stretch marks and not so perky C cups aids in our desire to stay and make it work.

We oftentimes define our worth by the reduction of our flaws.

If we have multiple kids, there’s leeway. If we didn’t have our dad present in our lives and you fill that authoritative role, there’s leeway. If we feel fat, ugly, unworthy or depressed, there’s leeway.

While being single requires a certain amount of ‘OKAY with You’ that plenty don’t embody, after today’s experience I vow to understand and articulate the plight on a broader scale.

Women yearn companionship.

We yearn leadership and protection.  In our quest, we settle and are cheated out of more than fidelity. How about we don’t bash women that accept lesser than love? How about we understand that it’s a lonely space to occupy on the cold side of the bed?

Follow A Comeaux @KCOSpoke on Twitter.

Follow A Comeaux @KCOSpoke on Twitter.

We want arms. Thighs. Kisses and comforting words in a steamy tone to say, ‘It’ll be okay.’

We need company. So when you see or hear a woman being less than the queen she was ordained to be, know that time has taken its toll. We give up. We grow weary. We settle.

But we still deserve the best, even when we don’t require it.

I’m A Comeaux and Yes, I’m single, but I am not available…
A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke.

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