Hey Black Girl: Is it Time to Get Your Swirl On?

Hey Black Girl: Is it Time to Get Your Swirl On?
Is it time to get your swirl on? Posed by professional models.

By A Comeaux

The summer is heating up with cookouts, graduations and the ever coveted… wedding season! Most notably was the KimYe wedding abroad with guests as diverse as a Kardashian Exes list… The best designers, coolest artists and finest of athletes jet-setted with the clan in an elaborate ode to love.

But I wondered, what is this telling our little girls? As I reflect on what is said to be the New Black, I wonder where is Black on Black Love?

Do we have enough examples to keep our matrimonial hope alive?

I hear so many women chant how independent they are, how much they don’t need a man and how they can do bad all by themselves. I hear men say we’re bitter and unpleasant, ultimately unmarriageable.

Where did we lose our ambition to enrich our community with love and stability with our own?

Ladies, is it time we, too, start to look elsewhere?

Is the hour upon us that we should now dip in the creamy crop? Should we date and marry outside of our race as well? This isn’t a foreign notion but it appears A LOT of successful men find love with anything BUT a woman who resembles his mama!

Now I’m all for love coming in any color and rocking out from there.

Open to get my love from wherever it purely comes from. I’m just concerned that our generation is getting a message that we are not good enough.

Our women, our struggles and what makes us resilient have been a bit overlooked. From Hollywood Exes and whichever (un)reality show you chose, you’ll find starter wives in heated banter with or about the new trophy wife. Regularly. I mentioned this to my mother who said rather matter of factly, ‘a white woman is a rite of passage for a black man’… Ouch!

Part of me is desensitized on this topic.

Follow A Comeaux @KCOSpoke on Twitter.

Follow A Comeaux @KCOSpoke on Twitter.

I can’t get angry or feel a way about it because it’s literally everywhere and far out of my control. I can open my mind and decide if I too will take my talents elsewhere. Building the empire I’d hope to resemble Barack and Michelle’s, I may opt to mimic Iman and Bowie.

I know one thing, I don’t want one woman to ever see another race on the arm of a black man and take it personally. I don’t want one woman to feel his choice is a direct reflection on her and what she is or isn’t.

It’s a choice and we all have the right to date as we wish. Love and marry accordingly, just be authentic, not superficial. It’s supposed to be love right?

I’m A Comeaux and I love myself enough to be okay with whomever you love.

A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke.

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