Holiday Dating: What NOT To Do

Holiday Dating: What NOT To Do
Follow A Comeaux on Twitter @KcoSpoke

By A Comeaux

It's that time of year again; the anticipated or dreaded holiday season, depending on whom you ask.

The thing about this time of year is that no matter what you celebrate or what your beliefs are, we're flooded with reminders that this is a time meant to be shared with those closest to us.

We have to be careful of the pressure that society places on us to couple up; we must be secure enough in our single life to not escalate a new date.

I have a few questions to ask you, but before I get into the gist of this, I'd like to say I'm single and available to be your plus-one guest at your holiday corporate party.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's talk about the escalation of companionship during the holiday season.

I have my personal rules on these issues, and I've thrown these questions out to the lions in the jungle to see what would be eaten. In the smorgasbord of reactions, there was a common thread, and that is to define and understand expectations. Here's what the lions advised:

Questions about gifting:

  • Do you buy gifts according to how long you've been dating?
  • Is the dollar amount spent on a gift a direct reflection of time invested?
  • Is the dollar amount spent on a gift a direct reflection of how you feel about each other?

Answer: 

If you're in love, and they're in 'like' and you spend a week's salary on a gift only to receive a  $25 Starbucks gift card in return, well, there will be tears. Understand expectations before you spend your loot.

Question about holiday dinner:

  • How long do you date someone before you invite him/her to the family dinner?
  • Would you oblige if you were invited to their family dinner after a few dates?
  • How does 'dinner with the family on a holiday' define your relationship?
  • How would your family react to your holiday dinner date?
  • Is the holiday dinner date a proclamation of your growth as a couple, or is it just free dinner amongst drinks with strangers?

Answer: The consensus here was to manage the perceptions with your family first.

If you never bring a date home, or if you're synonymous with a revolving door, be sure (or just hope) your family doesn't get awkward with premature and presumptuous questions. (*insert fear of mom asking 'them' about marriage, kids and medical benefit options over a beer followed by, "What's your name again?")
#facePalm

The thing about this time of year is that no matter what we celebrate or what our beliefs are, we're flooded with reminders that this is a time meant to be shared with those closest to us.

We have to be careful of the pressure that society places on us to couple up; we must be secure enough in our single life to not escalate a new date.

We should be comfortable in our relationships. Aim to create memories with those you care for without preconceived assumptions. Take life at face value, if you want something, go get it; not because it's a holiday or a new year, but because it's your truth to love or be single or date!

This isn't my first holiday season alone, and I don't feel any specific pressure for it to be my last. I will share this season with those I love, friends to enjoy our reflections of gratitude.

And I meant it when I said I'm available to be your plus-one for the corporate holiday party.
I'm A Comeaux and I approve this proclamation.

A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke

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