Folk that know me know that I value marriage and spent most of my life married until I became a widow in July of 2012. I still value marriage and will someday be a wife again. No marriage is perfect and mine was no exception to that rule. However, over the years I learned some valuable tips towards improving my marriage from my late husband, trial and error and in mentoring married couples. How can you improve your marriage? As the seasons change, we sometimes get complacent in our relationships so this is a great time to provide tips to improve that relationship with your spouse.
- Be Appreciative- Tell your spouse how much you appreciate even the small things they do for you.
- Be Committed- When things get tough; be committed to sticking with it and trying to save your marriage before taking flight. Seek counseling if necessary but don’t just give up.
- Be Communicative- Learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse. Talk to them daily about matters of the heart and just random life stuff. Don’t be afraid to share your fears, concerns and dreams for your marriage.
- Be Encouraging- Say words of encouragement to your spouse. When they do something great, tell them they did a great job or good work. Don’t just do it because you want something in return, but do it because you mean it.
- Be Genuine- Exhibit a positive and authentic attitude when communicating with your spouse. Stop sighing, pouting or pointing blame towards them. If you have been together long enough, they will detect if you are genuine or just doing it for self gain. Exhibit love!
- Be Fearless- Don’t be afraid to try new things in your marriage to keep it spicy. Go someplace new, try a new bedroom move, do a special date night or ask them what THEY want to do to keep it spicy. This is YOUR spouse and you are entitled to have a great time with them.
- Be Fun- Did you have fun with your spouse when you first met and got married? Did you hang out, take walks in the park, and go to the beach or just laugh at crazy stuff? Make the time to incorporate those things back into your marriage. Just because you are busy doesn’t mean that you can’t still make time for fun.
- Be Honest- Be sincere and truthful in your communications. If you are worried or hurting about something, talk about it honestly. Don’t’ be afraid to be vulnerable.
- Be Humorous- Laughter is really great medicine. Find the time and things to do to bring laughter back into your marriage.
- Be a Listener- There is a time to talk and a time to listen. Sometimes, you just need to listen and not want to fix, heal or repair anything. You spent countless nights talking on the phone to them when you first met them, so why shun the idea of that now because time has passed and life happens. Don’t be too busy for the love of your life.
While I didn’t mention prayer specifically, praying about your situation and how to handle it should be first and foremost in your marriage! Be the change you want to see in your marriage because it starts with you. Marriage can be so beautiful and rewarding when you give it your all and learn to be selfless instead of selfish when it comes to serving your spouse. Are you ready to do what is necessary to keep your marriage healthy?
Dawgelene “Dr Dawj” Sangster
Dawgelene “Dr Dawj” Sangster is a photojournalist, business psychology professional, philanthropist and world changer. Follow her on twitter @Dawgelene
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Filed under: Authenticity, Black love, Black marriage, Black men, Black Women, cheating, Dawgelene Sangster, Dr. Dawj, Marriage, Relationships, Romance, Single Women, Six Brown Chicks, Think Royally, Wedding, Widow