I know that for some folks, the recession is in full swing and all, but make him pay for the date. Yes he has bills, but so have you.
Make him pay.
What’s that you say? "Is it alright for you to handle something small, like the tip?" NO. Make him pay for that, too. Do you think he’d ever take his mother to dinner and ask her to leave the tip? Hmmm, probably not, right?
I know I may sound harsh. But let me tell you, I’ve been there. I’ve helped finance a couple of dates in my lifetime; I understand the reasoning of opening your wallet. You like him. You know he’s not a wealthy man and you’re not a gold digger. Besides, you had a nice time, too, so you don’t see the harm in making a contribution to the date. Chipping in on the evening just feels like the right thing to do.
I’m urging you to FIGHT. THAT. FEELING and MAKE HIM PAY.
It’s a terrible idea to open your wallet and here’s why:
First of all, you like this guy, so, are you just going to show up in a sweatshirt with your hair in a scrunchy?! Heck No! You went out and bought a dress; you got new nail polish AND touched up your highlights. Now, tally all of that money you’ve spent to look good for him. Do you realize you’ve already paid for the date before he even got to your door? So why would ever consider going back into your wallet to help finance the evening? That’s madness! Save your dignity (and your money) and let him pick up the tab.
And if he won’t cough up the cash, kick him to the curb. Why? Well, because of a very cool study released by St. Andrews University that reveals that men are more likely to pay for dinner if they think the woman they’re out with is pretty. That’s very telling; it suggests that men are willing to pay when they are in the company of a young lady they value. If he’s asking you to pay, then he probably sees less value in your company than he would see in some other woman’s company.
Call me crazy, but I don’t think you must be Beyoncé or Kate Upton in order to get a free meal. We can’t all be Beyoncé but, we all deserve a guy who thinks we’re as wonderful as she. We all deserve to be with someone who is in awe of us. We are all worthy of someone who will do whatever it takes to make us happy; someone who cops an attitude when the bill comes is probably NOT that guy.
In conclusion, I’ll keep it simple: There’s a difference between being in a relationship and being valued in a relationship. The best way to discern your future role is to MAKE HIM PAY.
Sylvia Snowden is a fabulous Chicago-based journalist, the President of Always Onyx and Director of Community Engagement for the Six Brown Chicks. Follow Sylvia on Twitter @TrulySylvia; reach her at Sylvia@SixBrownChicks.
Get your blog delivered to you! Type your email address in the box and click the "create subscription" button. Six Brown Chicks' list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.