7 Things I Hate About Being in a Wedding
By Kym B.
Since when did the role of being in a wedding party require one to financially, emotionally and physically alter their own needs and priorities to ensure that the bride and groom are happy? These are the top seven things I hate about being in a wedding.
1. Opinions: Why does the bride even ask for your opinion? Yes, that is an ugly dress and you will hate your wedding pictures if you buy it. No, I don’t want to go on a diet for YOUR wedding. And, really a wedding in August and we’re wearing taffeta? At the end of the day the bride and groom do not want nor do they care about anybody else’s opinion but their own.
2. Attire: Thankfully the days that the wedding party represents synchronized swimmers or cake top ornaments are behind us. However, I believe regardless of the relationship with the bride or groom, it should never be assumed that because you have been friends since kindergarten, that a person will be in your wedding and sacrifice a mortgage payment to purchase a dress that will never be worn again in life.
3. Conversation: Prior to the wedding, and sadly even after, must every conversation be about THE WEDDING?! I pity the wedding party that has a 2-year countdown until the actual wedding.
4. Attitudes: This usually applies to the bride. I don’t get it? I have seen the sweetest, most mild-mannered young women turn into Broom Hilda! What the hell is your problem?! I have witnessed emotional transformations in brides that far exceeds a woman in childbirth without an epidural! Just EVIL!
5. Destination Weddings: Let’s call it what it really is, a “forced vacation.” The bride and groom decided to have their wedding at a location more than 500 miles away from their hometown. Usually the wedding guests have the luxury of deciding if they will attend; however, the wedding party is taken hostage, and must pay their own ransom in the form of airline tickets and hotel accommodation. This wedding requires work without pay, before and during the wedding; and you’re clad in formal attire, although the wedding takes place in the hottest continent on Earth.
6. Bachelorette or Bachelor Destination Party: Similar to the destination wedding another involuntary retreat that may pose a financial burden that requires one to purchase trinkets that the bride or groom will never wear nor use. And, ensure that they leave the single life in style full of adolescent-like laughter and activities. These romps can financially set a bridesmaid or groomsmen back to those college Ramen-Noodle-for-dinner days.
7. Wedding Party Dance: Whoever started the wedding party group dance is on my list. It was uncomfortable enough knowing that you had to dance for a few minutes, and recite the pre-champagne toast, in front of all guests. But this new phenomenon of rehearsing and practicing a group dance nauseates me. It is even more horrific that the dance is usually videotaped to allow millions of strangers to judge your actions on YouTube. Don’t nobody have time for that!
After being in several weddings throughout the years, I have created the Always the Bridesmaid Wedding Vow:
From this day forth, don’t ask me to be in your wedding!
If you love, cherish and respect our friendship,
You will only send me an invitation to attend;
So that I may send my children to college one day!
And if you submit yourself unto my wishes;
We will remain friends now and forevermore!
And let the church say – AMEN!
Kym Butler is an International Policy Analyst for the US Department of State and she owns a clothing design boutique with her daughter. Follow her on Twitter @AlwaysRich777
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