By Yanni Brown
I believe that everyone comes to a place in their lives where they question themselves, who they are, who they want to become. It could just be me, questioning, wondering if I am doing and being what was planned for me to do and be. If I can be naked for a moment, share my raw emotions, these last few months have been challenging as hell to say the least. A self reflective reality check is that my plans didn’t go as planned. The plans that I thought I was associated with didn’t go as planned. So my creative flow if you will has become stagnant as I scramble to try and figure things out. In the middle of chaos, confusion, stress and uncertainty we must find the very thing to cling to create clarity. Even if no one understands the clarity but you! Sometimes you just need a moment.
I just need to take a moment to have a moment
Because the moment is right here staring me in the face
My outside world is beautiful. Within my four walls however is a very dark place.
I admit to it all, I’m guilty to all of it!
I couldn’t keep it together, now things are out of control
I’m slipping fast with every little bit.
I would like to cry but the SHIFT has a very tight grip
A tear drops here, a tear drops there and there’s a quiver in my lip.
How did I get here? I asked for IT was because of my dreams
Passionately pursuing LOVE of all things
Who told me that I was cupid, being single and all?
God called my number so I had to answer the call
So here I am OPEN, yet once again
On the brink of something amazing if I could just hang in.
SHIFT has a hold on me…It’s an uncomfortable place
I’m forced to STOP and be still to absorb this bitter taste
I’m in IT and it’s as thick as it’s ever been
I’m holding on to FAITH because right now that is all I have within
SHIFT is happening without my permission
I understand it now, so it is with humble submission
That I surrender to this place that I’ve brought myself to
With full understanding that he will see me through
I am here on the bottom at least that how it all seems
But I believe that it is the beginning of beautiful things
The bottom of a beautiful Things
Have you ever questioned who you are, where you were in life or what you want to become? Faced with the thought of re-inventing yourself? If so how did you handle it?
Filed under: Authenticity, Balance, Black Women, Embrace Change, Expectations, Fix My Life, Girlfriends, Leadership, Relationships, Self Help, Self worth, self-improvement, Single Mom, Single Women, Sisters, Six Brown Chicks, Spirituality, The Six Brown Chicks, Women, Yanni Brown