Newsflash: A Date is NOT Going Dutch

By A Comeaux

So I’ve taken some time to live life offline and focus on things that soothe my soul and matters of the heart.

I lacked this in the past.

So I figured with all the changes going on, one of the biggest changes is my love/dating life. No I haven’t gotten lucky, but I have been on a date (insert happy dance) and I have a few things to say: A date is not dutch!

Now let’s backtrack. When people go dutch, they spilt the check. Of course I’m speaking by my own experiences but hear me out before you bash.

When I go out with platonic girlfriends, most times one person does not pick up the entire check for the table. This is customary. We all pay our way and tip accordingly.

When I go on a date, I do not feel this approach is acceptable. Per a twitter beef this past week, this is not a popular opinion.

I must make note that these young men who fought me on this are serial daters who merely go out for hopes of sex. That’s it; so spending money on a good time out on the town isn’t the go-to move.

Please know, this isn’t about women picking the tab up (there was mention this is even more difficult to decipher amongst same sex dates, but my feelings remain the same), if you ask me on a date, I am not going dutch.

If I ask you on a date, I am prepared to pay.

If we go out and we both pay for our own expenses, that was a meeting, not a date.

Someone battled me for the sake of a win by saying quality time is quality time no matter who pays what. I call bullsh*t and I called her desperate.  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not superficial by any means and I truly value quality time spent with one who holds my affections, but I am a lady and I expect to be treated as such.

My daddy taught me I’m not to touch a door, chair or my wallet on a date.

Now he may be old fashioned but the man has a point! For the woman who said this is harder in same sex dating, then you take turns or decide early on who will take financial responsibility for leisure excursions. I don’t make the rules, I make my own and abide by those that fit me. Deal.

But please don’t ask me on a date and expect me to pay half.

I’m just getting back out here, don’t scare me away.

Your thoughts? Tweet me. No beef, please.

A Comeaux

Chief Chick A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective.

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