Four Ways to Handle Your Haters

Four Ways to Handle Your Haters
Photo: © Marcopolo | Dreamstime Stock Photos & Stock Free Images

By Sylvia Snowden

Oh, No that Heifer Didn’t!  

 Remember that chick who pointed out that one side of your hair isn’t curled quite as well as the other in front of your entire homeroom?  Oh no?

 Then what about that co-worker who decides to publicly question your competence in the boardroom?  We have all had it happen at least once. 

Real talk, I’ve had it happen to me two or three times.  I’ve been the object of another woman’s ire.  I’m not talking about the sort of anger that arises out of a great friendship gone awry.  I’m talking about a woman who barely knows you, but decides to throw down the gauntlet and come for your blood!

I remember the feeling; my heart pounding out of my chest as I’d pull up to school nervously wondering what my self-appointed tormentor would do to make me miserable that day. 

I recall dreading getting out of bed-- knowing I would be subject to malicious behavior throughout my shift-- many a morning. While these experiences might have sucked, I must acknowledge, they taught me a few things.  Now, I can spot a hater a mile away and am quite adept at cutting her off at the pass. 

Solving problems between girls and women is very important to me, so I’ll gladly share some of my wisdom below!

 What to do when the other girls don’t like you:

1.      MAKE NEW FRIENDS/FORM STRONG ALLIANCES

What’s Beef?  According to rapper Biggie Smalls it’s, “when you roll no less than thirty deep."

Sounds crazy right?  But he makes an excellent point!  No woman is EVER going to pick a fight without having thought about consequences beforehand.  If she thinks she can get away with coming at you without you or your friends retaliating, she’ll totally go for it.  Making friends with others who have your back will at least give her pause about picking a fight.  It may stop her in her tracks altogether. 

2.      TELL NO ONE (BUT JESUS) IF YOU BELIEVE SHE’S OUT TO GET YOU

Why?  Because “so and so doesn’t like me” is the sort of news that makes it around high school hallways, college corridors and workplace water coolers very quickly.  It will most certainly make it back to your tormentor and she’ll interpret that to mean everything she’s doing to upset you is working.  If anything, she’ll only be emboldened to keep it up and we don’t want that.  So zip it!

3.      SPEND ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH HER

To know someone really is to love someone, so part of the main reason why she doesn’t like you is because she doesn’t know you.  CHANGE THAT! Spending one-on-one time with her will help her get to know the amazing you.  It’s incredibly hard to hate amazing people (wink!)

4.      NEVER STOP LOVING YOURSELF

I get it.  You can’t help but think, “If someone who barely knows me hates me so much, what’s wrong with me?” Nothing.  You’re amazing, you’re awesome, and you’re enough!  It may just take a little while for some people to figure that out. 

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