Cheating: “Do you forgive Mrs. Jones?”

Cheating: “Do you forgive Mrs. Jones?”

By Nicole M. Dorrell

We’ve all experienced the impact cheating has on men and women.  If you personally haven’t dealt with this issue, you know someone that has.

The same questions always come to fruition: “So what are you going to do? Are you going to forgive him/her or leave them?”  There are many things to take into account when a loved one decides to cheat on their respective partner and is caught.

The question is, should that person be forgiven?

There are several things to consider once infidelity is discovered: What kind of cheating took place? Was this infidelity a one-time thing, an impulse or has it become a long-term relationship? Do these circumstances warrant a pass?  Do you just throw in the towel on your marriage, or relationship so easily?  Is a one-night stand really enough to breakup a relationship?

If it’s a one-time thing, then maybe it was only sex but, something that lasts longer would lead one to believe that feelings are involved.

This causes hurt and disappointment but, should you forgive the person that betrayed your trust? Do you destroy your family because of the transgressions?

Men seem to have a harder time dealing with infidelity than women.

The ego seems to play a large part in that.

Men worry about damage control, that is, does everyone know about the cheating? Men may also visualize their cheating partner with someone else—and that drives them crazy.

Women, on the other hand, are more willing to try to work things out.  It depends on how much you love your partner and if you are both willing to do the work it takes to move forward once the infidelity is discovered.

Both sexes can agree that if you decide to forgive your partner you must do just that!

Forgive and do your best to let it go!

Don’t put the infidelity in your memory bank and then whip it out when you get into a disagreement.

Lastly, you must be honest with yourself.  If you know you just can’t forgive your partner and the infidelity is tearing you apart, then you must move on.

As my friend’s grandmother says, “Love is not supposed to be painful. If it becomes too painful to love someone it becomes Graveyard Love; love that is so painful that it damn near kills you.”

Nicole M. Dorrell

Nicole M. Dorrell

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  • Great questions to ask after such an ordeal!

  • A tough topic to tackle! Really good points & some serious food for thought!!!

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