Archive for December 2012

Another Damn Dateless Damsel

Another Damn Dateless Damsel
By A Comeaux If you’re tired of me writing about being single and begrudgingly dateless, then fix me up with your well-off, good smelling, intelligent and terribly handsome neighbor. You don’t have one…? Fine. So read on. Here I am in the Land of 10,000 Lakes with no fish to hook! I mean, who wants... Read more »

How to Detect Jealousy Among Friends

How to Detect Jealousy Among Friends
By Toni Spearman A lifelong friendship can be an extraordinary affair; a priceless treasure, very hard to find.  If you are blessed to discover that one special friend ‘that sticks closer than a brother,’ kudos to you! You are among the few. But any friendship, as beautiful as it is, can be destroyed by a... Read more »

Is it Time to Get a Promotion--in Your Relationship?

Is it Time to Get a Promotion--in Your Relationship?
by Monique Makell How many years, how many babies, and how many break-up/make-up sessions does it take before you realize that your situation…is pointless? What is a reasonable amount of time before you seek  an advancement in your relationship status? And, how do you go about approaching your mate and letting him/her  know that it’s... Read more »
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How to Create the “Perfect” Spouse

How to Create the “Perfect” Spouse
By Dawniel Winningham The things you want in life MUST be intentional and not accidental. By that I mean we must KNOW what we want out of a spouse just as we must KNOW what we want out of life.  Failure to know what is important to us when selecting a spouse is dangerous; it... Read more »

The Peace after the Pain by LaRay Smith

The Peace after the Pain by LaRay Smith
 By LaRay Smith “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That was one of the first untruths many of our parents armed us with as developing individuals. Not with the intent to deceive us, but to plant the seed that we have the power to overcome and move past... Read more »

Men Speak: 'We Hurt,Too'

Men Speak: 'We Hurt,Too'
By Shoya Bowman I’ve always been fascinated when I speak with men about their relationship troubles.  Why?  Because in the entire scheme of things their issues, complaints and concerns are no different than ours, Chicks. The only difference is how we handle them. Men hurt too and because of this I decided to interview three of my male friends to get a better understanding of the type of hurt they experience, what sparks it and how they deal with the hurt. Ironically, I began writing this blog a week prior to seeing a stage play called, “Five And A Half Men” which gave me confirmation that I was on to something.  The play detailed the struggles that men face while going through divorce or separation. This was confirmation that the time has come for us to hear from men.

When speaking with my friend, I asked him the infamous question, “do men get hurt too?” Mike agreed without hesitation, “Yes, hell yes, all of the time.”

Mike said that men perpetrate and pretend as if they aren’t hurt when deep inside they are, and the charade is an attempt to protect their egos. I asked Mike if he had lost trust in women and he said no, but interjected that it has been tested over the years.  He’s happy to say that he’s found someone that he believes could be “the one.”  Mike prays he doesn’t encounter the kind of hurt he’s felt in past relationships. While Mike’s story turned out to be one of hope, the other two fellas….hmm, not so much. On to my next conversation with my good friend Tyler who is a tad bit bitter because he feels the woman he’s currently with is cheating on him and possibly using him for financial gain. He doesn’t have any proof just that nagging, gut-wrenching feeling.  Tyler’s female friend has hurt him in the past and he admitted that he cried like a baby, but only after the lights were off and when no one was around to witness it. After all, Tyler has an ego and by all means he doesn’t want to taint his manly image.  Still, Tyler can’t get past the fact that women say they want a good man, one that lavishes them with gifts, takes care of their children from previous relationships, wants someone to hold and protect them, spend quality time, give them good loving and so forth and once they have this, they tend to walk all over the guy like a doormat...
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Self-Sabotage: Are You Guilty of It?

Self-Sabotage: Are You Guilty of It?
By Yolanda (Yanni) Brown sab•o•tage Verb ~ To deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct (something). I’ve been reading and seeing a lot of posts on Facebook and blogs about speaking positive things into your life. What I really want to ask is how many of us sabotage the very thing that we speak into existence? I... Read more »

'She's too Pretty to be Gay!' Too this and too that...

'She's too Pretty to be Gay!' Too this and too that...
By A Comeaux Oh hell when K feels compelled…’ was the unanimous rant that raced across the room. Me, baffled, yet my evil grin gave me the perfect amount of innocence my latest feat ever so needed… While out with an eclectic ensemble of girls of various preferences, someone made the utter mistake of whispering... Read more »

What We Can Learn From Jenni Rivera

What We Can Learn From Jenni Rivera
Music is an art that binds us across all racial boundaries. (I guess that’s why it’s considered arts and humanities in college.) I first heard Jenni Rivera in 2009, her Super Deluxe album. I danced, and learned Spanish from it. This guy I dated loved Jenni, and when we broke up, his Super Deluxe album... Read more »
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The Gift of 'No!'

The Gift of 'No!'
By Gina B. Want to get yourself a great, inexpensive holiday gift?  Grant yourself the power to say no. It’s interesting that ‘no’ is one of the first words that we learn, and often the favorite word of a defiant toddler.  Once we develop filters and learn social graces, the word ‘yes’ takes over when... Read more »