There those chicks go again! I am glad that the original chicks were able to reconnect because I loved the chemistry we brought to the table when we were together. It was something about Kayann’s tipsy tweets, Gina’s rants, Yanni’s love talk, Shoya’s fixing men and then finding love, and Zondra’s rants about toys that made my inspirational snippets seem like chopped liver, but it worked…in the beginning, that is.
There can be so much said about why we broke up and fingers can be pointed, but the reality is that we didn’t have to break.
There were too many egos, personalities and individual agendas tarnishing our hopes of unity and true sisterhood. While I was hurt by the breakdown of the group, I believed in Zondra’s vision for the overall group and knew that she really wanted us to excel.
When I got news of the “Fix My Life” taping request, I had a lot going on in my life. My husband of 13 years was dying from brain cancer and I was his full-time caregiver, and my son was headed to Afghanistan. Aside from that, I did not feel the full “sisterhood” from the group during that time, so I was reluctant to tape but I agreed to after talking with my husband and praying about it.
When it was time to tape, I really didn’t know what to expect and I wanted to protect the feelings of others, but also wanted to protect my feelings of exhibiting my personal hurt for the world to see. I felt like I was this empowerment coach helping women overcome pain, yet I allowed myself to be hurt because I opened my heart to trust women again after being hurt so much in the past. While emotions were running high and I had zero tolerance for any more room to stretch them, I opened my heart yet again to trust that Iyanla could maybe help our situation and that we could regain our sisterhood.
I am excited that we all showed up and was mentally “present” for the healing to take place, which I believe happened for each of us. I also believe that I received a break through with my husband as he made his final transition that final month of his cancer. While I felt like crying for many reasons since he was diagnosed in October of 2011, I didn’t feel like I could trust anyone enough to cry in front of them nor did I have time to cry. But during the taping, my sisters embraced me with hugs and love that let me know that they were there for me and did care about my situation.
There is hope for us and our unity moving forward, and I will support the individual and collective efforts of the team because… I am not my sister’s keeper, I AM MY SISTER.