By Dawgelene “Dr Dawj” Sangster
Over the years I have learned that holidays can bring about a lot of stress for relationships.
There are meals to prepare, parties to plan, time split between families, and gifts to purchase. Let’s not forget all of the cleaning between the nooks and crannies of your home that you haven’t cleaned all year. It’s also a time where we consider blessing those that are less fortunate than we are by donating to charities, shelters and helping the homeless, all in an attempt to experience the joy of giving.
All of those things are wonderful but can bring stress to relationships, especially if your mate is not experiencing the joy of your giving.
Do you carve out time to share with your mate while making plans to spend with others? Did you know that during the holidays, people get so overwhelmed with so many things going on, that they start to neglect their mates? It is important that while you are planning your parties, charity drives and volunteer efforts, that you include your mate in your planning. Take a peek at the tips below that will help your mate feel included in your holiday planning.
1. Communication and Feedback
During the holidays, individuals get so busy planning what they want to do, that they sometimes forget to incorporate the feelings of their mates. Be sure to seek feedback from your mate and communicate your feelings on how you want to spend the holidays. Your mate may want to have time with you alone, while you want to visit family and friends all day. Be sure to keep the lines of communication open and remember that you and your mate need to spend time together.
2. Don't Get Easily Offended
No two people will always want to do the same things the exact same way. A difference in personalities, attitudes, and values, all play a role in the choices we make. Do not get offended if your mate has a different view on holiday planning than you do. Understand that it is Ok to have a different view, while at the same time having respect for each other's views.
3. Be Willing to Compromise
Relationships bring two different backgrounds, experiences, attitudes and sometimes cultures. Be willing to work with your mate and come to an agreement on how you will spend your holidays together and how much money you may spend. Keep in mind that while some individuals love to have big holiday events with a lot of family and friends involved and go into deep debt purchasing gifts, others prefer smaller more intimate settings with less money spent. Be respectful of your mate’s feelings in their preferences in those things.
4. Be Mindful of Your Words
The holidays can bring stress into relationships if couples allow it to happen. During stressful times, individuals can get frustrated and say things they do not really mean. Be sure that you are careful with the words you allow to come out of your mouth, when communicating with your mate. You cannot take words back and once they hit, they can sometimes be painful, especially coming from someone you love.
5. Spend Time with Your Spouse
In all of your planning, be sure you include spending time with your mate. Do not forget that they need some time for just the two of you to spend together. No children, no in-laws, no out-laws, and no friends, just the two of you. Taking time to enjoy your mate will strengthen your relationship and make them happy.
Remember that your holidays can be less stressful for you and your mate if you ensure that you celebrate the two of you.