Are Pretty Men Lazy in Bed?

Are Pretty Men Lazy in Bed?
By Zondra Hughes

Bad sex can happen to any couple.
But what if the man is--well, willfully lazy?

I have a theory that handsome men won't put in the work to please their partners.

handsomel.jpg

Posed by a professional model.


These men are known as Lazy Lovers, and apparently, lazy loving strikes more often than women would care to discuss.

I floated my theory to one of your fellow Brown Chicks and she agreed.
I listened closely as she divulged how dissatisfied she was with a former, beautiful lover.

"He
had the perfect tool," she said, with her little brown nose all
scrunched up, just at the thought of the guy. "And the first time he
just laid there, and I thought, well, he sure is sexy.
And I pounced him and just took control."

But the Lazy Lover laid there like a man of rusted steel. He did not move an inch.


"I thought he was nervous," said the Brown Chick. "But his ass was spoiled."


But then it happened again, and again. And then finally, the Brown Chick mentioned it to him.

"I like foreplay too," she told him. 

He refused to work, and told her: "You know I work out after work, and by the time I see you, I want you, but I'm tired."

"Then we shouldn't do it," she said.


"But I want you," he responded. "To do it."


He was a nice enough guy, but the dissatisfied Brown Chick had reached a point of diminishing returns. She dumped him on his birthday.
(Ouch!)

"If
I want something pretty to look at, I can buy art," she snapped at me, suddenly angry all over again over the bad sex.
"His ass had to go. I ran to the ugliest guy I could find, and we were
together for three years until he moved to New York."


That Brown Chick added, "and even today I'll hop on a plane if his ugly ass asked me to."

Hmmm...I asked a pretty male photographer about his thoughts on the subject.


First things first, he says that yes, he does nothing, absolutely nothing, with his girlfriend but show up.

Then
he said that as handsome men get older, they realize that they were
doing too much work in the sack, so they've put on the brakes.

No need
to drive Miss Daisy, just enjoy the ride.

"The
epiphany of becoming aware that a woman as your partner has an equal
responsibility in sexual activity," he said. "That awareness usually
yields a cornucopia of pleasure for two. So, I wouldn't say handsome men
are lazy, I would say, that that is a level of awareness that yields
equal physical involvement. That means finding a woman and training her,
right off, on what you like. And train her to do a good job at it."


Because I did not fully understand what that pretty photographer said,  (did you? what the heck!) I  wanted one more opinion, so,
I called my friend Gloria from St. Louis.

I asked her if she found
that attractive men were lazy in bed.

Gloria was a great source because
when we were in college, she preferred her men to have model looks--and
athletic bodies.

"G, were your pretty men lazy in bed?" I asked.

Gloria
laughed at the question and then talked about her husband, that she met
at the bowling alley.

For the record, G admits that her husband ain't pretty...and her own mother calls him her "walrus-in-law" behind his back. But they have gorgeous children and a very stable relationship.

"My husband has always been overweight, even as a
toddler--I've seen the baby pictures. He's not the type I would have
preferred, and he never turned my head until one day, when I was lonely,
he called and asked me to have a cup of coffee with him. Fifteen years
later, he is still the best lover I ever had. Tell your readers to go
for the guy with the gut. Big guys are more attentive in bed, they last
longer, and they are greedy. They will never get enough of you."

SURPRISING!

So, ladies, what do you think? Are pretty guys lazy in bed? And are big guys more fun?



  






Comments

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  • Well, the ladies have never been attracted to me...so that must mean I'm good in bed. High Five! I mean...low five (low self esteem) LOL! In fact, don't even touch me. I don't deserve it... :(

  • In reply to MrIsaacs:

    Wow, Zack. Common man. You're way down on 'you'.

    Self-deprecation is funny and all, but sheeesh? You're a pastor dude, you're here for a higher purpose. Chin up man, chin up.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I was just kidding. But I'm not a pastor just yet. My vocabulary is too expansive. LOL!

    To be honest, I was using humor to show the knee jerk reaction that some could have to this blog. I meant no harm, so hopefully there's no foul.

  • I'm curious to know who else have experienced this both men and women?

  • As one of the beautiful in the world, I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, it works in reverse too. Big chunky chicks with zits and 4 chins can really hit it! If I'm lucky enough to score two or more chunky chicks, it's even better! It's like they're competing for my man juices. So, I make sure and jerk off right before said encounter, and then when the menage-fat starts, I just lay back and let them do all the work. They know they're lucky to have me. In fact, I find the lazier I get, the harder they work. So I just fake that I'm falling asleep and they tear me up! I repeat this process until said fat chicks have fucked me so hard, so many times, that they eventually lose all their weight, at which time I dump them for a newer-fatter model.

  • As one of the beautiful in the world, I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, it works in reverse too. Big chunky chicks with zits and 4 chins can really hit it! If I'm lucky enough to score two or more chunky chicks, it's even better! It's like they're competing for my man juices. So, I make sure and jerk off right before said encounter, and then when the menage-fat starts, I just lay back and let them do all the work. They know they're lucky to have me. In fact, I find the lazier I get, the harder they work. So I just fake that I'm falling asleep and they tear me up! I repeat this process until said fat chicks have fucked me so hard, so many times, that they eventually lose all their weight, at which time I dump them for a newer-fatter model.

  • Doc, the dreaded double post... almost like you were trying a bit too hard.

    Now, I may not be brown... but, I am beautiful. That's a pretty big generalization ladies. If I'm into her, I'm into it... and we get into it. Know what I mean? Get it?

    Anyway, I think it really depends on the partner, if she's also beautiful then yeah, I'm into it and giving it all of my 72%!

    You have to be careful that this post isn't about being jealous or envious of the beautiful people. Cause that would just be sad.

    As a side note, stay away from Koalas these days ladies, GP says they all have the clap.

    Here are some beautiful people, you decide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaKcl0Qg13o

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I had the best sex of my life with an ugly Koala. Fortunately she was clean.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    As an attractive man I can tell you first hand that I am not lazy in bed. I will try to get you do my dishes and fold my laundry before you leave though.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do 1000 now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    I offer free Mustache Rides, but I'm not going to do the work myself. You have to ride this fuzzy clitoral tickler

  • In reply to MB30SD:

    So what if I were mangled by a wheat thesher? Would I instantly become a better lover or would i have to wait through years of pain and humiliation until it finally worked? And does this mean that all the guys who just got fat and lazy in their old age are now somehow Don Juan?
    And how exactly is a fat out of shape guy going to be a better lover than someone physically fit? He can get an A for effort but if he's wheezing like my emphazimic grandfather and sweating up a storm so it feels like you got caught in the middle of a monsoon when he's on top then how exactly is that sexy?

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