By Yolanda (Yanni) Brown
One of our Facebook friends posed the question: "How do you motivate your man to be more romantic? I feel like his roommate and not his wife!"
So Tuesday's Raw Talk Topic is: "A Woman's Got to Have It."
We have been conditioned to operate under the "Women are from Mars, Men are from Venus" theory. This book is based on the idea that members of the two genders have diametrically different communication styles, emotional needs and personal values.
My thoughts are these very same differences can actually complement one another if we are just willing to GIVE the other person what they need!
In this case, "A Woman's Got to Have It" please understand that by giving her what she needs it is a win-win for getting what you need. Most women want to feel, taste and touch some form of affection. She desires your affection. If can be as simple as a hug, cuddling during a movie, date night, a good morning, good afternoon or goodnight kiss.
Word of advice, from Sean Connery's character in the flick Finding Forrester , "the key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time."
We want stimulating conversation. We want to hear what matters and what's important to you. Yes, some of us can talk for hours and sometimes we carry on, but we need that feedback from you!
SHE wants you to be open and honest with her. She values your opinion. She can handle the truth better than you think. While being honest may initially hurt her feelings, it is still better than a lie.
She's looking for HIM to be her friend and her MAN! Someone that will not only rescue her but has her best interests at heart.
Financial Support is always big on the list of priorities even when she has on her superwoman cape and says that it doesn't matter.
Having input on family matters says that you care. No, it's not always about who makes more money but it is important when there is balance in terms of support.
Last but not least on this list is her need for family commitment, SHE needs your support, understanding and confirmation that you are in this!
She needs to feel, know and understand that family is important to you. It is the "WE" that matters in the big picture.
Now that we have been made aware of HER desires, the question is how do you motivate your man to be more romantic? My question to you is was he romantic to begin with?
If the answer to that is yes, then there are several fun things that you can do to put romance back into you relationship.
First you want to communicate to him that you love, honor and appreciate him but you are not just his roommate nor do you care to be one.
Secondly, sit down at dinner a sheet of paper and two pencils. There are 12 months in a year. Create a list of 12 things that you really enjoy doing and ask him to do the same. So now you have just created 24 things to do! Select a day of each month that you would like to have date night where both of you are free and include an alternate date as well.
Exchange your list so that you have 12 things that he likes to do and he will have the 12 things that you like to do. Alternate months with each of you taking the initiative on your month and plan accordingly to your list. Be sure to add spontaneity and spice to your dates.
The thing about giving in your relationships is that when you GIVE the relationship wins. When you take, however no one wins. You could even have what I'd like to call the BONUS round where you create a date of SURRENDER.... Making it all about your mate.
The thought behind sharing this blog is that the more that you GIVE to her is the more that you will receive what it is that you need from relationships. If there is anything that I do know, is that when the needs of your partner goes unmet then that leaves room for cracks in your foundation.
Have a conversation about it and compromise so that both of you win! Are you getting what you need from your relationships?
What are you willing to do about it?