By Gina B.
Do you have any bitter friends? You know . . . the ones who have been burned in bad relationships and are convinced that there are no good human beings left in this world.
I have a friend whom I secretly refer to as "Angry."
She hasn't had a great history with men - thus her anger. But her constant state of rage and bitterness contributes to her inability to have good relationships.
What's interesting about Angry is that she doesn't realize she's bitter. She somehow thinks it's natural to want to set fire to all members of the opposite sex.
Like most bitter people, she's been hurt and believes her violent oppositions to relationships are completely reasonable. She's convinced that her venomous viewpoints are logical and universally true, given her experiences. And, if offered the opportunity, she will attempt to persuade anyone in her midst that relationships generally suck. When men approach her, I cringe because I know they're completely unprepared for her imminent evil shit-storm.
But, what really sucks is the fact that she will never attract a good relationship until she cuts the bitter with a dripping dollop of honey.
By far, the most perplexing issue with bitter people is that they really don't want to be bitter. Although they're asserting negative theories and opinions, they're secretly hoping that someone will come along and change their mind.
They've watched too many romantic comedies - about the woman who had given up on romance but meets the man of her dreams who pursues her until he melts her icy exterior. It takes some work and persistence, but eventually he exposes her for the vulnerable, sweet person that she is and they ride off into the land of real estate and babies.
Okay, people . . . seriously? In real life? That, like, never happens! Maybe whatever happened to cause the bitterness wasn't your fault, but it's your job to shake it off.
That said, if you suspect that you might be bitter, but don't know for sure, consult the following list. If any of these thoughts frequently pop into your head, you might be bitter:
- "Men are all pure evil."
- "Why bother having a relationship? They never work anyway."
- "I should remain celibate - even casual relationships aren't worth the trouble."
- "Who needs a man? All they do is suck the life out of you."
- "We should put all men on an island . . . and blow it up."
If you've recognized and accepted that you're bitter, congratulations! That's half the battle. Now you can take baby steps to replace the bitter with the sweet.
- Each day, find something to appreciate about members of the opposite sex. Go to the gym and focus on the guy with the great abs and firm butt (Because, really? There's a lot of beauty in a great booty! J )
- Avoid conversations about your ex, and if you find yourself thinking about him, redirect your thoughts to something relaxing and calm.
- The next time you're approached, don't behead your admirer. Even if you're not attracted, smile and engage in a brief conversation
- Don't think about toxic couples. Find a good couple role model.
- Above all, commit to having a great time, and abolishing the anger.
If you're interested in seeing the Six Brown Chicks all together in living color, check out our latest webisode for a roundtable discussion on six fun topics by six fun chicks.