by Gina B.
When we meet people, we want them to be attracted to what we consider to be our best qualities. The bait that we dangle should be an accurate representation of what we consider our best qualities to be.
If you find yourself attracting people who like you for the wrong reasons, take a look at what you're using as a lure.
For example, while it would have been fabulous for my boyfriend to have been immediately blown away by my irresistible beauty (ha!), I much prefer it that he appreciated my personality. So, when we got to know each other, it was less about lust and more about good intellectual conversation, which was a much better foundation.
But sometimes our bodies betray us.
One of my friends is extremely well-endowed. Her breasts are generally the first thing that anyone notices when they meet her.
She enjoyed the attention to an extent, but the trouble started when she grew tired of the men that she dated being strictly mesmerized by the mammaries. She was tired of them being her two biggest conversation pieces, and didn't want to be known as "the chick with the big tits."
She would have liked for men to notice the brain above the neck, and it would have been nice if they would have discovered that somewhere behind her DDDs beat a heart of pure gold.
Finally, her sister told her to abandon the "cleavage clothes," put the puppies away, and escorted her to a lingerie store to purchase minimizing bras and then whisked her off to a boutique to find shirts that deemphasized the boobies. They're hard to hide, but she knew the plan worked when a man complimented her perfect smile.
Men are not absolved from this issue.
I used to work with a man who complained that women only wanted him for his money.
He was a partner and earned an enviable wage. He sported tailored suits, and drove a customized, high-end BMW. When he took a woman on a date, he always chose a lavish restaurant and gave her the four-star treatment.
Sounds like a perfect gentleman, right? But here's the problem . . . the women that he dated were all so enamored with his expensive exterior that they overlooked his interior. They didn't care that he had a great sense of humor, passion for animals and played the guitar in his pastime. They were merely concerned with the next expensive date.
After several months of watching this behavior, I finally suggested that if he wanted to stop catching gold-diggers, he should refrain from chumming the water with gold.
I assured him that the right woman would be happy to get picked up in his alternate, less expensive car, and get to know him over a casual date. Once he decided that she was the right person - or at least someone who had a sincere interest in getting to know him - he could blow her away with a 10-course meal at a five star restaurant.
Keep in mind that you have control over how you're perceived and treated. If you're meeting the wrong people, it could be time to re-evaluate what you accentuate.