A Man Speaks: 5 Signs That He's Wasting Your Time

A Man Speaks: 5 Signs That He's Wasting Your Time
Who's sleeping in your bed? Photo: JD Mason. (Professional models.)

Editor's Note:  I asked my friend Charles to share how men decide when to settle down; these are his words. --Zondra Hughes

5 Signs That He's Wasting Your Time

By Charles Dixon III

There are at least three types of men out here who may cross your path while dating: The Ready Man, (he knows what he wants and he wants to build a foundation with you); The Tired Man (he cheats until he's tired and then he settles down with whomever is sitting next to him on the couch); and, the Time-Waster (he's just using you as a placeholder).

Here are 5 telltale signs to determine if the man you're with wants to build with you, or if he's just wasting your time.

The Ready Man dates you with authenticity. Photo: Taylor Grote. (professional model).

The Ready Man dates you with authenticity. Photo: Taylor Grote. (professional model).

The Ready Man is a Marriage-Minded Man.

A marriage-minded man is ready to settle down because he has experienced what it takes to become committed to someone, he has weathered the emotional highs and lows of relationships, and, he has likely seen the fruits of stability and/or the return on his emotional investment. The marriage-minded man is ready to take the trip down the aisle because he understands what’s expected in marriage and he has the drive to prove himself to be a quality husband and to put that at the front and center of his initiative.

The Tired Man will commit--but only after some soul searching.

The polar opposite of The Ready Man is The Tired Man.

The Tired Man is likely the guy who has been a serial dater and/or womanizer for the better part of his life, and at some point, he realizes that chasing and cheating (and all the spoils of womanizing) may result in emptiness.  This feeling of emptiness may cause him to rethink his life, and this guy will likely marry the woman who is by his side at the point of this realization.

Last but not least, there's The Time-Waster.

The Time-Waster has no good intentions for you whatsoever.

The Time-Waster does not truly believe in love but he’s smart enough to want to benefit from a fake relationship with you. He may speak of settling down, or marriage, or starting a family with you so that he can reap the benefits of ALL the spoiling you will do when you sense marriage is near.

The Time-Waster will feed you just enough bread crumbs so that you can endure chasing him.

When he fears that you're getting too close to him emotionally, The Time-Waster will completely sabotage your mission by cheating and/or ghosting you. He will withdraw and become emotionally unavailable to the point of pushing you away. And then he's off to waste someone else's time.

5 Signs That He's Wasting Your Time

1. He’s with you but you don’t feel his commitment. On the flipside, he's controlling of your whereabouts because he doesn't want you to experience love with someone else.
2. He’ll do the things to make you feel warm and fuzzy about a commitment to keep you as a placeholder, but his actions will not be sincere.
3. He buys the ring and places you on leave with a lengthy engagement aka “shelving,” but he will not set a firm date to marry.
4. He’s not interested in bonding with your friends and family. (FYI, a man who desires to grow with you in a committed relationship would be interested in knowing your background.)
5. He's abusive and/or constantly cheats, an indication of his lack of respect for you.

Got questions? Join the Unique Perspectives Love Talk Radio group for our Facebook Live discussion: Are They Ready or Simply Tired On Monday night (July 15th) at 8 pm CST, and follow the conversation online, #upltr. 

Peace

Beware: The Time-Waster may give you a ring but never set a wedding date. Photo: Taylor Grote. (Professional models).

Beware: The Time-Waster may give you a ring but never set a wedding date. Photo: Taylor Grote. (Professional models).

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