By Kym B.
“Your priority is not my emergency,” is a phrase I used often on my children, but I have learned lately that it applies to every area of my life.
1. Trying to live life according to someone else’s standards will get you nowhere.
When you put another as a top priority in your life, you are basically saying that their happiness and well-being is more important than your own. In relationships, you may think it is cute or romantic to put their needs above yours; but it isn’t; you can lose yourself. In business, allowing others to shine diminishes self-promotion – and then you feel stuck while others elevate.
2. Take care of yourself first.
When traveling by aircraft, before taking off flight, flight attendants provide emergency instructions: If flying with young children or elders, they say, first take care of your safety and then assist others. Sounds crazy, right?! Especially, as a parent, when your first instinct is to protect your child. Here’s the thing--you are no good to your child if you are losing consciousness. Apply this practice of taking care of yourself first to your daily living.
If you find yourself drowning in business, relationships or whatever; throw YOURSELF a life vest – first; then you will be able to effectively assess the issues that surround you.
3. Don’t allow others to dump their needs on to you.
We may trick ourselves into believing things can’t get done without our assistance. Or, that people will fall apart if you leave them. But the truth is, if we don’t take time for our own priorities we ignore our personal heath, care and needs.
4. Being busy for someone else is not necessarily the same as being productive for yourself.
Identify busy behaviors – and/or people – that drain your time and energy but aren’t really contributing to your life--and minimize their hold on you.
It’s your life – not anyone else’s – so live it on your own terms.
5. Be prepared for the backlash from other selfish people.
Trust me, taking care of yourself first comes at a cost. In this social media world where consequences of judgment from others are frequent, you must have thick skin. You will probably go through a season of second-guessing. Know that people don’t dislike you, they dislike experiencing that the story they once told “themselves” about you has changed.
Living life on your own terms simply means consciously choosing your pattern, rather than accepting, by default, the manipulation of others.
Now, go live!
Kym B. is an avid world traveler who owns a clothing design boutique with her daughter. Follow her on Twitter@AlwaysRich777