By A Comeaux
Earlier this year RiRi had even the good girls crooning homage to their inner savage when she broke down how she played with-and then dismissed-a lover with an open heart.
I must admit, it was a guilty pleasure to belt those lyrics, mimic that cold-natured swagger and feel damn good about getting one up on ‘him,' yet, being the master paradigm shifter that I am, I’d like to discuss the work of the clean-up woman.
The clean up woman tries to love a man after a savage has had her way with him.
See, we learn ways from our lovers rather inadvertently or in spite, so unless those ill dealings are purged, they’ll permeate the next relationship most assuredly.
We talk so much of our needed healing after a heart-stomp but men don’t tell much when they’ve been played for foolish; not even to the woman who’s looking to love him.
Women are comforted by homegirls, comfort food and sad love songs but what do men have to soothe their mental when they feel low?
Sure they can be the dogs they’re accused of being, but what about the good guy? The one who gave a good shot to the wrong one who took him for the ride he didn’t ask to go on?
Now the secret savage in you is likely giggling. He took one for the team, for all the liars, cheaters and couch surfers who drop their chick off to work while he drives his side-bae around for kicks.
Do good guys take the fall for all the ones who turned the good girls bad?
I honestly ponder on the inner thoughts of the woman who purposely sets out to wreck a man’s soul. The root of #WhoHurtYou can be found when that woman's pain pervades throughout and effects the purpose of partnering with another for love.
What’s a woman to do when the man she’d like to love has a hole in his heart too big for her kisses to soothes? As noble a feat it is, it is one of love's great spoils. We are resilient and forgiving in spaces men are not known to be.
We forgive even when we know better; but this is not the case for them.
To be a clean-up woman is to salvage the mess a savage has made, and that clean-up woman will have to see beauty in the eyes once drowned in sorrow and despair.
She will likely have to be more patient than she bargained for; she will have to not only learn to trust but work even harder to get him to believe she won’t run off like the last woman did.
Most of this is because after a letdown, we often don’t trust ourselves or our judgment; it felt good last time, it sounded good last time, what makes this time any different?
We have to take time to tune within, forgive and let go before we go back out there.
To the cleanup women, the women who seeks to love after a storm that is a savage, hold true to your convictions and show love by loving yourself, first.
If he is ready to love you back, he will rise.
If pain feels more familiar than loving, then let him be.
Be the very example of love you wish to see by trusting your inner self to know better, and when, to love again.
I’m A Comeaux, a past savage and a possible clean-up woman.