By Yanni Brown
I’ve had the most interesting conversation with some awesome men this past week. I love gleaning from their wisdom when it comes to sharing their thought provoking points of view about relationships. While we know that men and women are very different when it comes to what’s needed in a relationship but ladies please understand that most men love sex. Most men need it, and most men find it very attractive when their mates are captivated by their sex appeal. So yes, I think that it is pretty safe to say that sex is pretty important to them.
In a time where women are twerking at the local grocery store, learning the latest tongue tricks, quick slips, hip dips, pole turns and twists but in the grand scheme of things, will these skills keep him?
I was curious to know if this is what men are looking for in a woman, a wife and or the mother of his children so I engaged in a very stimulating conversation with an awesome group of men. The men were ages 30-54. They were married, single, dating and divorced.
In no specific order here are my six takeaways of what they said and what I heard:
- Every man wants the ‘real thing’ someone that they can come home to and BE THEMSELVES with. Someone who will take them as they are. The benefit of him being able to be himself is that he feels more confident, loveable and worthy. He can go out and take on the world daily, knowing that when he comes home he is KING and that you are the woman that chose him!
- She inspires him to be a better man! When she is confident in whom she is and what she brings to the relationship, naturally it makes him want to stay on the cutting edge, keep himself up and be the best that he can.
- Simply having a partner who supports you. Someone that has your back no matter what! She understands the power of teamwork. Her support of you, in you and with you is a compliment that goes well beyond the bedroom.
- A woman who can keep a house. Now I know that this sounds a bit outdated but I totally get it! The men went on to elaborate by saying “No man wants a woman keeps a nasty house unless he’s nasty” There is something to be said for a woman that keeps a tidy house. Cooking, while not a prerequisite for all, this was a big one from the men that I spoke with. ALL of them said that there is nothing like a home cooked meal prepared by the woman that they care about. It’s something nurturing, loving and sexy about a woman who can rattle the pots and pans.
- Having a chance to make her smile. No, they won't always do things the way that we as women would do it. But they want to make you smile they way that they know best. However knowing that he’s capable of making you happy and or making you smile makes it worthwhile. One of the men said “It's the best feeling in the world, to see my girlfriend's face light up when I walk in the door” Men need and want to be wanted and needed. Men need to feel as though they're doing a good job, and they need to hear the acknowledgement of that from the woman they're with.
- Men are visual and sex is very important period! So absolutely be the lady in the streets and the freak in the sheets. Take a twerk class or two if it will boost and build your confidence as a woman. Arrange an evening with low lighting, a chair and seductive music and invite him to make it rain. However please know and understand that he needs more than just great sex to sustain him beyond the great sex, otherwise it’s just great sex.
Yanni Brown, former member of Six Brown Chicks, is an Author, Blogger, Relationship Educator and is always motivated and inspired by love. She often says that "Love has the ability to saturate your soul, it asks for nothing but love in return." Follow her new blog, Intimate Discussions; connect with Yanni on Twitter @makinglovebettr.
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