By A Comeaux
What a week in social media! Let me jump right into this because with all the steamy drama going on I’m sure everyone’s already warmed up!
Now I know that you all know better than to be sending ‘stick’ pics when you KNOW you’re creeping?
What’s downlow about that? Pun intended.
Now in case you’ve been camping under a rock and haven’t heard, our Kardash in Training hip hop artist Tyga got outed this week with an alleged lover who has been around for more than three years.
Those three cheating years occurred during the baby mama drama with Blac Chyna and the jailbait booty baby Kylie, but that’s not all, folks.
This lover is a transgender model/adult actress Mia Isabella who has since released a flurry of receipts of text messages and X-rated photos of Tyga’s junk. (A statement confirming or denying the relationship has yet to be released, but, whew!)
In light of rule number one, when cheating obviously being overlooked, I’ve compiled some sure shot routes to get kinky without getting caught, if you must dip off in the first place!
Rule one: Don’t ever text details of your love life to your sidepiece. They know you’re cheating, they know you are unhappy and what you two do is special and just your little secret… I get it.
So stop saying I love you to someone that knows you’re a liar! Say, ‘I like that you don’t let my wedding ring get in the way of your orgasm. I like the way you don’t hold back when we’re together, even though you know I’m still sleeping with my live in…’ *insert side eye.
Rule two: In order to keep your hands clean while playing dirty, one must cover all traceable tracks. Get a separate phone to talk to your dip on. This number only they have, however many ‘theys’ you have, will only call, be called, text and be texted from this number.
This will prevent you from be exposed without the space to deny your dirt doing.
I’d add you need to keep this phone FAR away from your significant other because IF this phone is found, with your pictures and texts and the naughty things you’d like to do as soon as you see each other, are discovered, you will either need to fake a seizure or say you just found that phone with the intent to sell it.
You’d think I’ve done this before, huh? Nope. Just watched many a fool botch a good ole fashioned affair, is all.
Rule three: No tattoos, birthmarks or piercings in the pictures. Sounds silly, but think about it… most parts look the same or similar so we look for special things on or around the scene to identify if that’s who we think it is.
Cheating is wrong even if it is on your under-aged girlfriend with a transgender model willing to lie for you. Its wrong! But if you find yourself with a sweet tooth not satisfied by your boo, then by all means do what you do! Just keep it clean. Literally, folks out here body swapping you don’t who or what you’re laying with these days!
Rule four: Don’t be cheap with your sidepiece. Mia Isabella spilled the tea on Tyga because he only paid her: “$250” she said on Instagram, and wanted “full service.”
Rule five: Prepare to face the consequences if you’re caught. Unfortunately, this mistress chose not to remain a mystery, and her tell-all may end Tyga’s current relationship and his career.
I’m A Comeaux and I’m no cheater, but I sure how if I wanted to… Do you?
A Comeaux is the writer, speaker and actor who poetically paints pictures of life and love with a paradoxical perspective. Follow her on Twitter @KCOSpoke
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