By Kym B.
As you reach for the last piece of stale miniature chocolate that lingered for a month from the October festivities, you realize that the holidays are once again upon us.
The only constant thing that you can rely on, during this season, is it will not be always perfect, it will not resemble a Hallmark movie, and you will feel guilty about something you ate, brought or said.
But after all what are the holidays without overeating, overspending and family?!
Family is the oxymoron of the holidays; these are people you love to be with, yet hate to be around.
Thanksgiving and Christmas, two of the most cherished family gatherings can be described by some as organized insanity; which Albert Einstein quoted is the definition of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Yet I challenge Einstein and suggest that you go into this holiday season with a different perspective and goal.
As you head home to your family expect nothing.
2. Allow for mistakes and an imperfect outcome to happen.
This is what makes the holidays fun and memorable. Don’t get so bogged down on the details. So what if you forgot to put the nutmeg in and your cheesecake isn’t firm and leans to the side. Your ex’s penis leaned to the side and you survived that didn’t you! Stop getting so emotional about how things should be, because your relatives surely will you cut you and perform an open heart surgery. Let it go!
You know the cast of characters. No surprise here they are still the same; but guess what, so are you! Perhaps it is not everybody that drives you crazy in your family, but only that one drunk uncle, nosy aunt or broke cousin. Indeed, some family members are out to get you; mostly due to unresolved issues that are projected for all to see. However, you must remain peaceful and firm and remind them that you are not the only movie playing at the theater; there are other family members to evenly distribute the hate. Be the Ticketmaster.
4. Sharing is Caring.
And then there is the family that irks us the most because they truly believe that they are trying to help you with providing, great all-knowing advice as the self-appointed commentator of your life. For this family member I say “give rather than receive”. This is your moment to get the conversation off of you and generously redirect by sharing your advice about their lives and watch the joy unfold.
5. Final Call.
Don’t emerge from these memorable occasions demoralized or so angry that you are plotting your next revenge.
Family is a piece of many parts of your life. Remember they are not out to destroy you; they are who they are. You don’t need them to change but if they do be happy; your life will continue to go on either way. Just as you want them to accept you – faults and all; you must do the same. Laugh and enjoy their imperfections!
Kym B. is an International Policy Analyst for the US Department of State and she owns a clothing design boutique with her daughter. Follow her on Twitter @AlwaysRich777
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