By Kym B.
Relationships initially start from a physical and/or emotional connection – the law of attraction. However, the mystery is what is inside each one of us that causes one to attract similar characteristics in different people. Unfortunately what draws us to another is not always a quality that is positive or complements our own traits. A lot of people miss significant signs and get into relationships that suffer simply because their motives were superficial.
What is your intention? Do you have a common pattern? Have you attracted any of these relationship types?
· The Lustful Relationship: this union is built on visual desire, and gives a false appearance of value. Commitment rarely happens and it teaches a person how to be unfaithful to one’s self. It is usually a sexual kinship that doesn’t involve awareness of their partner’s whole life or lifestyle.
· The Compromising Relationship: a relationship that requires you to compromise something and/or someone valuable to you in order to bring peace in the relationship. Usually one-sided and only fulfilling to the one that never has to negotiate.
· The Lopsided Relationship: is a selfish pairing, when one person is all in and the other person is taking clear advantage. A relationship when everybody around you can see the wrong and blinds your own intuition. It can take away your self-worth; and leave you crippled with loneliness and despair. Love yourself enough to wait until the love is mutual.
The Secretive Relationship: loving a person that you have more questions about than answers. Their motto is “he who has nothing to hide – hides everything!” This mysterious type of relationship is marked by unexplained absences and hours of unavailability. A relationship that is pleasing to your flesh, but reckless to your emotions and soul.
· The Shacking Relationship: the infamous relationship that has been known to be associated with a cow and milk. It involves you living with someone without a legally binding union; or as my grandmother used to call “playing house or a fake marriage.” I do believe that this type of relationship could be a setup, once you live with someone I don’t think the commitment to marry is not as obtainable, because most think by marrying - nothing new will come of it. Here is where you lose your assets (literally) and can become a liability.
· The Disabled Relationship: one that involves foolishness and lack of intellectual discernment. Based on insecurities, where one person - in the relationship - can be tricked by such phrases as “I thought you loved me” and “This is the last time, I promise you I won’t do it again.” Allowing the same pattern of stupidity to constantly happen you! Hmmm…so who really is the dumb one?
· The Mismatched Relationship: if you are spiritual, this is also known as the “unequally yoked” relationship when you don’t spiritually agree. A relationship that is crooked from its very existence and both parties never seems to be on the same page. A constant circle of inequality and disagreements.
Ask yourself what is your intention? And do I have a common pattern? If so, recognize the relationship signs. Know your patterns. Learn their and your motives.
Break the cycle.
Kym B. is an International Policy Analyst for the US Department of State and she owns a clothing design boutique with her daughter. Follow her on Twitter @AlwaysRich777
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Filed under: Attraction, Authenticity, Black love, Black marriage, Black men, Breakups, cheating, Culture, date, dating, Dating nightmares, Expectations, Single Women, Sisters, Six Brown Chicks Correspondents