by Dawgelene "Dr Dawj" Sangster- I sat down with Avery Sunshine and had an amazing time with her. She is one of the most authentic and loving women I have had the pleasure of interviewing. We talked about some of everything, but more importantly, she talked about being a working mom. I wanted to share a few tips from her that I found valuable and think you will too! Enjoy!
What’s your advice for working moms?
In this industry, things can get busy and overwhelming. The following things have helped me tremendously:
1- Get reliable help- My parents are a godsend for me. Their parenting style as grandparents is a bit different than my style and my kids don’t always understand that, but I tell them they still have to respect their grand parents.
2- Accept Change- Being a divorced mom was a major change for me in dealing with my children and working. I had to learn to deal with them on a different level and it was a process, but I accepted that.
3- Accept/Ask for forgiveness- We are often hard on ourselves for the time spent away from our children due to our hectic schedules. Our children will forgive us, but we have to learn to forgive ourselves; especially if we know in our hearts we are doing the right things for our children.
4- Honesty- Be honest with your children about your schedule and in general conversations with them. Use those moments as honest teachable moments when they arise.
5- Cherish the quality time together- There are times when my son will say he doesn’t want me to leave and times when he will tell me its cool to go to work. I make it a point to ensure that the quality of the time we spend together matters. Not really how much time, but that when we are together, we are talking about any and everything they want to talk about. No topic is off limits. For example, he was on his phone recently and asked me what porn was. I died 4 times before I could think of an answer to his question. I kept thinking, “you are 11, how am I suppose to answer this question”. I am divorced so couldn’t tell him to call his dad because it was he and I in the car at the time. I figured that God wanted me to do something different than what our parents used to do back in the day, which was tell us not to worry about it. I took advantage of the opportunity to have a teachable moment with my son and talk to him about love.
6- Attend Therapy- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. For me, one of the things I did was attend therapy. Therapy helps and we should not be afraid to seek that help if we really need it. It can help you sort and put things in proper perspective where they need to be.
7- Learn to Live – After my foreclosure and divorce, I thought my life was over. But I realized that I had just begun to live again after those things happened. Your children must see you live again, smile again and love again, even through the most difficult times because you deserve to.