Celebrity Matchmaker’s Dating Tips for the Shy Singles
By Susan Trombetti, CEO of Exclusive Matchmaking
When it comes to shyness/anxiety, these are some of the types of people I find matches for everyday. As a matchmaker, I can't just give them a date without addressing the clients’ extreme shyness and anxiety around dating. They can't open up enough on [the first] date or to be asked out for a second date. We coach clients to do the following:
1) Leave your comfort zone. If you have only a handful of friends you hang out with all the time, force yourself to make more. Just go out with the point of talking and connecting with just one person and gradually increase it. It doesn't have to be a member of the opposite sex at first, but start working that in as a goal.
2). Put yourself in a social setting. It could be a party or a Happy Hour. At first, just talk to one member of the opposite sex for 5 minutes and then leave. Knowing that you have a limit takes the stress out of it. Be sure to congratulate yourself on your accomplishment and gradually increase.
3) Pick three current events to talk about on a date that aren't political or sad. This way you can make small talk.
4) Remain calm. Realize most people are too selfish to be that tuned into you even though you are worried about how stupid, how silly, how awkward, or insert whatever word you think they are thinking of you. They are more worried about themselves and maybe even their own awkward behavior to really notice the things you worry about.
5) Make a calendar of events for the month. Make sure each event is different from the other. Force yourself out to interact without your comfort friends. Do all this alone. At the end of this time, it will force you to become at least more comfortable socially and less awkward. At this point, you are ready to date. Sometimes just doing this will lead to dating. Shy people tend to stay home and never meet people. At least you are meeting people, which is key to dating.
As a certified executive member of The Matchmaking Institute, when Susan’s not looking for love for her clients, she is giving back to the community and rubbing elbows with A-list celebrities at parties and events, scouting for her next perfect match. Follow Susan on Twitter @Exclusive_Match.
*Special thanks to Alina Neiberg
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