He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not!

He Loves Me, She Loves Me Not!
He loves me, she loves me not: A blog by Toni Spearman. Photo: © Orangeline | Dreamstime Stock Photos

(Part One)

By Toni Spearman

There’s nothing more frustrating than loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

You give them everything, (including your soul) and they take it for granted. Why is it difficult to find Mr. or Mrs. Right in today’s society? Why do people ‘have’ to play games? Why is everyone so deeply hurt from past relationships that trying something or someone new is out of the question? Or better yet, why is the universal response to singlehood, “I’m just doing me right now?”

I remember when couples used to stay married, through thick and thin and until “death do us part.” They raised their children together (the ones in and out of the home), endured financial hardships, depressions and recessions; they made it through somehow.

I also remember when couples consisted of a man and a woman. Things have truly changed over the years.

I was talking to an old friend the other day who was having problems in her same-sex relationship of three years. She’s been with this female for a short time but she’s been dating women well over 30+ years. And her story always ends the same way, “True love is hard to find.”

I asked my friend about how many women she has dated in her lifetime, “Just give me an approximate,” I joked. After a brief silence she said, “Honey, I really don’t know. I’ve been dating women since my college years and there’s too many to count."

My friend is a few years shy of sixty.

Our conversation went on for almost an hour and finally I concluded, “People just want to be loved. Some choose to love the opposite sex, while others choose the same sex, but at the end of the day, we all just want and need to be loved.”

I understood my friend’s pain because I too, once loved a woman. Being with a female is no different from being with a man other than the physical make-up and religious definitions.

So in an era of marriage equality, I propose that neither male nor female love is superior.

And it wasn’t until I learned to love God that He taught me how to love myself and that blossomed into a new sense of awareness.

Today I choose to love a man (my husband) because it goes according to the word of God, but I still love my female counterpart, just from a different perspective.

And with a different heart.

We were born to love, and we choose with whom we share our love.

We’re all just people who cry when we hurt, bleed when we’re cut, laugh when we’re happy and mourn at the loss of someone we loved, whom for whatever reason, did not love us the same.

Only the love of God is supreme--and is everlasting.



Toni Spearman

Toni Spearman







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