The Six Brown Chicks Get A Makeover: From the Inside Out

By Zondra Hughes

Consider this: You want to spend more time with your new lover and you move him into your home.  Although you have not had the ‘where-is-this-going?’ conversation, the two of you function as a serious couple.

Six months later, after a long day at work, you enter your home and catch your lover in bed with someone else.

Just as you launch into your rage of hurt and confusion, your lover turns to you and tells you that his infidelity is your fault:

  • If you didn’t work so hard, you would prepare better meals for him, and he would not have strayed.
  • If you weren’t so tired after a long day at work, you would have the energy to have better sex with him, and he would not have strayed.
  • Finally, your lover coyly reminds you that moving him into your house was your idea, and you did not discuss that other women were not permitted in your bed, and so this uncomfortable situation is your fault.

As crazy as that scenario seems, on several levels, it would be your fault because expectations were not made clear, boundaries were not set, and both parties entered into the living arrangement with hidden ulterior motives. To make it plain, you wanted a husband, but your lover wanted a rent-free bachelor pad.

Such unspoken expectations and hidden agendas were at the root of the demise of The Six Brown Chicks the first time around.

We were in the same place at the same time, but we were not together: in the best of times, we were collaborators; in the worst of times we were covert competitors. All falsehoods come to an end eventually.

The Iyanla Effect

Iyanla Vanzant lovingly cracked the code of why women can’t get along; we fear there won’t be enough at the table for us. We have been conditioned to compete with one another, and that we mistake viciousness for power.

After the Fix My Life experience, we are better now, with clear objectives and expectations that define who we are as women and as a collective.

This Six Brown Chicks makeover happened from the inside out, and we’re grateful to Iyanla, the Oprah Winfrey Network, and you for allowing us to get back to doing what we love: blogging our experience to serve and share with the village of women everywhere.

Let's get this conversation started.

The Six Brown Chicks are on Twitter: @SixBrownChicks

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Comments

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  • I pray that you all continue to be gems for sisters. You are all beautiful each in your own unique way. Together, the sky is the limit. Believe it or not, you will look back at this time and say "thank God we had this moment to build us up before a larger platform instead of when we reached a larger platform and destroyed our entire usefulness to women".

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    In reply to Exavier Pope:

    Exavier, amazingly, supportive men like yourself have been in our corner and have carried us from Day One. You are correct, thank God we have this moment to build us up!

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    I watched the shows and cried right along with you guys...I pray that you guys continue to walk in love and honesty with one another and that your bonds grow stronger with each passing day!

  • In reply to TinkasMom827:

    TinkasMom827
    Thank you for watching the episode, and we cried too, as you witnessed. Our hope is that women everywhere can learn from our journey and maintain (or fix) their precious friendships. As Iyanla says, "I am not my sister's keeper, I am my sister."
    =0)

  • Wow..I was simply amazed.
    You all had to go through together before you could even begin to help others collectively. I could really feel the strength and power the six of you gained from the experience.
    I pray that you all will keep answering to the call because we need you!
    Stay blessed!

  • In reply to Cassy:

    Cassy
    Thank you for your prayers, and we're here to stay! Thank you so much for watching the show and reading the blogs.
    =0)

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    I stumbled across the show last night with Iyanla and I was glued to my seat. I saw pieces of myself at the round table. I wanted to hear more about each sister. I grew up without a sister and I don't know what it is like to be that close with females. I cried with all of you and I was so moved. Twenty years ago, I lost my husband to kidney failure and I was so alone, but I put myself in the middle of you all and I felt that someone had by back. OMG the experience was overwhelming. So many of us are out here and we feel we don't belong or no one is hearing. I plan on writing a book one day because there are so many stories to share with others. When it is all said and done, we will all be okay. God Bless you ladies for doing the work you do and I wish I lived in Chicago. I will read more on your endeavors because I believe I will be inspired.

  • In reply to Cynthia Davis:

    Cynthia,
    thank you so much for sharing your story with us, there are many who needed to read your perspective...especially since you grew up wanting a sister. :0) Well, now you have six.
    thank you for reading.

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