by Yanni Brown
My mother says if you have your own business to mind then you won’t have the time to mind someone else’s.
As a certified relationship educator I can tell you that this applies to relationships as well.
When you first meet someone it is your business to know their business. What I mean is that this is a great opportunity to get to know someone up close and personal. Through conversation, observation, listening and sharing an interest in their interests, paying close attention to the details will pay off in the long run.
Also, your actions will reflect that you are genuinely interested in getting to know your love interest.
However, you better have some business of your own if you are going to sustain a long lasting relationship.
Allow me to explain.
Have you ever been in a relationship where, in the beginning it’s exciting, and you want to spend all of your time with this person? Most people call this the honeymoon phase, or the period of relationship bliss. This period usually lasts anywhere from three months to a year. However, you better have some business of your own, or else you will get on your partner’s last nerve by constantly paying attention to their business.
Minding your own business means that you need a life and friends of your own, in addition to your relationship. You need to have your own dreams and passions (business). This will enable you as a couple to have interesting things to talk about, and to share in other things to do so that you are not constantly under the other person’s thumb.
In this instance, absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
How to Get Some Business of Your Own
Find what you like to do and do that! It makes for great conversation. It’s great to support each other within your businesses, but don’t try to fit yourself in every part of your partner’s business or else you will find yourself burned out and out of your own business very quickly.
Also, don’t try to force your partner to choose which business is more important. You will be disappointed most of the time.
Think about this…. If you become everything that the other person wants and needs you to be, then who are you? Where’s your identity? Where’s your business?
Yes, share in your partner’s passion. Support them, be their biggest cheerleader but whatever you do, DON’T LOSE YOU in your love for them. Mind your own business. Your relationship will thank you later!