by Dawgelene “Dr. Dawj” Sangster
Black Friday is a day that many people look forward to arriving during the year. Thanksgiving is over and people are full force into planning for Christmas. They get up early and brave the cold weather, long lines and oftentimes stress and potential harm, just to get those great gift deals. They look for big ticket items, clothes, jewelry, toys, and anything that they consider the perfect gift deal for that special someone in their lives. I used to be one of those individuals that looked forward to spending excessive dollars on Black Friday to get wonderful “can’t pass this up” gift deals. Over the years, I have looked at other things that I think carry a higher level of importance long after the holidays are over. I look to invest time and money into finding special “deals” on building relationships with those that matter the most.
Consider the tips below on things you can do to get a great “deal” on perfecting your relationship.
1. 50%+ Effort- The 50%+ deal is when you make an effort to give just as much as the other person gives into making the relationship work. Relationships are not one-sided and it won’t hurt you to give more into making yours work. You cannot expect your mate to always compromise to make things work while you get everything you want without giving up anything.
2. Give Them Space- It is so important to give your mate space to do what they need to do. We all love to spend time with our mates, but they also need that individual time to watch a game with the guys, go to a spa day with the girls, or just be alone. It doesn’t mean that they don’t care about you; they just need some time for themselves, which is ok.
3. Just Ask Them- Before making drastic changes in spending, decorations or looks, ask your mate how he/she feels about your planned changes. When you are a couple, you work together, and the decisions each of you make affects the other person. Be mindful of your decisions and ask your mate their opinion out of respect and love for them.
4. Willingness To Change- Have a heart of willingness to change if you need to. None of us are perfect and we can all make adjustments to become better. Open your heart to welcome potential change if necessary, if it will help you make your relationship better.
5. Be Selfless- If things are not going your way in a discussion, it is ok to be selfless and allow your mate to “win” the discussion, if it will bring peace and happiness to your relationship. It does not mean that your point is not important, it just means that you have to sometimes step back and look at the bigger picture. The bigger picture is when you can assess the situation and based on what you see, you make the determination that being selfless instead of selfish is more important to help move your relationship forward.
In all things, you have to know the person you are with and understand their ways, attitudes and overall personality to have a great relationship. Stay fabulous!