Actions Speak Louder Than Words . . . NOT

By Yolanda "Yanni" Brown


We've all heard the expression "actions speak louder than words."  Well, for the longest time I agreed. I defended all actions in the name of love. You couldn't tell me anything different - I believed that if someone loves you they will prove it and show it.  I've since learned that I might have been operating under the wrong assumption.


In an intimate discussion with a group of friends, we took a moment to discuss this "actions speak louder than words" theory.


It was a priceless no-holds-barred conversation with men and women, and we were determined to get to the bottom of the issue.  


The women could not understand how He could be everything that we want, yet none of what we need. Men wondered how She couldn't understand that men simply need companionship, conversation, sex and a meal shared every now and again - whether or not they're in love with the woman.   


The most important thing I learned from that valuable conversation is that when someone says "I'm not ready for a relationship," believe them!


If a relationship is what you want, you must be strong enough to walk away - even run if you have to.


The problem is that, while they may say that they are not ready for a relationship, their actions could speak a different tone, all twogether!


They may speak sweet nothings, or tell you all of the things that you've ever wanted to hear. They pull out all of the stops to show you their best representative. They show you the person that they think that you want to see, wooing you gently and slowly. Their actions are saying "Wow, I'm digging you," but in the back of their mind is: "Remember I told you, I'm NOT ready for a relationship."


I've personally had the pleasure of experiencing this firsthand.


I was pulling out all of my good tricks . . . and he wasn't even my man.  He sampled some of my best desserts, with my permission, but because I didn't take my time or take the time to listen, I didn't hear what I had missed.


In hindsight, I can hear loud and clear that: "I'm NOT ready for a relationship" means just that. You cannot woo them into submission, or make love to them until they change their minds. You can't buy your way into their lives.


You will eventually learn whether or not the time was well spent or well wasted, before reality sets in and in the moment you are faced with. The truth... is still the truth.  It's often uncomfortable and sometimes downright painful!


But the truth needs no proof. When it's all said and done it will still be the truth . . . "I told you in the beginning I'm NOT ready for a relationship"





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