By Yolanda (Yanni) Brown
"All of these people running around here jumping, skipping, falling in love -- falling in love ain't s**t.
Somebody talk to me, about how to stay there!"
(Love Jones 1997)
While society would have you to believe that everyone cheats and lack commitment. I believe that WE lack knowledge, understanding and The KEY ingredients needed to Making Love Better TwoGether.
Some of the key ingredients that I believe are missing from relationships today are:
Honesty, Trust and respect of self and others...
It is very difficult to be vulnerable, open and honest with our partners if we can't be vulnerable, open and honest with ourselves. We must evolve to a place of protecting our partners' honor and trust. Any behavior that undermines the trust and honesty in the relationship also undermines the potential success of that same relationship.
This is applied to us as individuals as well as in relationships. When we are honest with and respect ourselves we can then trust in our potential.
Effective Communication is the Key
Effective Communication is the key to ALL strong, healthy relationships. On so many levels, communication allows partners to exchange messages about love and other emotions. Effective communication requires practicing the skills of listening and the expression of thoughts and feelings. It is much more than talking, as communication consists of verbal messages (what you say), contextual issues (how you say it), emotional tone (why you say it), and even non-verbal cues (what you don't say). It is more than Speaking it is also listening.... Listening should be done with the same intensity as you are speaking.
When you love, time seems to last forever...When you love someone or something you don't mind MAKING the TIME. It is important to make the commitment to things that matter and when they matter time is not an issue! When you care about something or someone you are willing to spend the time. This holds true in relationships as well.
Romance in the beginning flows freely in relationships...Over time couples who make the effort to continue the ROMANCE are successful in their relationships because they are committed to adding new life to the relationship. Adding Spontaneity and Spice to the relationship keeps the fire burning. If you keep the fire burning then you won't have to rekindle or restart it! In this department it is the effort made that keeps it going. Plan date nights, create your own love coupons and or cook meals twogether.
Leave love notes in places for each other. It's the little things that keep the foreplay going strong. Men, foreplay for her is different than foreplay for you. You are always ready for her the oven has to be heated. She likes the little things that you do for her as well as the big things.
Leave a rose on the windshield of her car or a sensual text message. Have the house clean when she comes home or dinner prepared (Even if it's take out). Anything that will take the pressure off of her will create foreplay for him. Ladies do not deny your partner the pleasure of pleasure.
Let your partner know on a regular basis that they are appreciated or that you appreciate their efforts. This is important to both men and women. Showing appreciation for your mate says that you acknowledge value and appreciate the things that are done for you and to you! They want to hear it...They need to hear it. It serves as an incentive to fuel the connection, the relationship. When you show appreciation in and for your partner they will want to do more!
Compliment your partner regularly.
I will leave you with what I always say in my couples' workshops. "What you won't do, someone else is ALWAYS WILLING to step in and do those things that you are not!"
What are some other KEY Ingredients that can be used while Making Love Better TwoGether?
"Romance is about the possibility of things. You see it's about the time between when you first meet some fine woman and when you first make love to her. And when you first ask a woman to marry you and when she says I do. When people that have been together for a long time say the romance is gone, what they're really saying is that they've exhausted the possibility."
-- Darius Lovehall