No one likes to be turned down. You put yourself out there and tell the guy/girl that you’re crushing on that you like them only to hear “Thanks, but no thanks”. But in the world of online dating, rejection can be less subtle depending on how you handle it.
Several of my girl friends are also trying their hand at online dating. Recently I spoke to one of them about how she goes about turning down a guy she’s not interested in. We agreed on nearly every other aspect of online dating with the exception of the best way to handle turning a guy down (or being turned down in return).
Personally I’m of the opinion that I would rather be ignored than told no. It’s a little less painful if you ask me. So in turn that’s how I tend to deal with a guy I’m not interested in. I simply don’t return the “wink” or email. However, my friend “Tori” would rather go the bluntly honest route and say no thank you. To her, it’s worse to be ignored.
I decided to put her theory to the test. I received several emails from a persistent gentleman who continued emailing me despite the fact that he was out of my age range and distance range. And despite the fact that I was NOT returning his emails. I decided to take Tori’s advice and say “No thank you” using a standard rejection the online dating site supplies. “Thank you for your interest, however I don’t feel we’re a good match. Good luck with your search.”
Honest. Simple. Straight forward. Or so I thought. Twenty minutes later he replies “Why such a rude response”? I wanted to tell him to take it up with the online dating site since it was their reply, but instead I apologized and just said I was looking for someone a bit younger. This, apparently, was the wrong thing to do. “No worries,” he said, “I guess I just took it the wrong way.” Then he proceeded to tell me, in detail, why he felt we were a good match despite the fact that he wasn’t what I was looking for.
Fellas – you shouldn’t have to convince a girl she should be with you. If a girl reads your profile and feels you have something in common she’ll return your email. If not, don’t take it personally. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea!
To turn the question back to my readers, how would you rather be turned down? Would you rather a guy ignore your advances? Or have him reply to say “Sorry I’m not interested”?
Filed under: Uncategorized