Saffron and Fuchsia. Those are my wedding colors. The Harold Washington library. That’s where the wedding will take place, amongst all the great love stories. My best friend, Laura. She’s my maid of honor. And Myla, Ashley, Ellissa, and Rihanna will all be my flower girls. I’ll count on Marques and Chuck to make sure every detail is in order. My good friend Maurice will help me write the most awe inspiring, heartfelt vows, and we will argue for days over the structure. My step-dad Paul, will give me away. Pacabel’s Cannon played by a full symphony. My brother, Mike will find some reason and way to have light show spectacular in the middle of the reception. My mom and I will inevitably argue throughout the planning, then sob all over each other on the actual day. Then there is me. Make-up “beat” and “snatched” by Sam Fine, or the only other makeup artist I've ever let touch my face, Angela Dejun Rhodes. Ah, and then there is the groom…
Has anyone seen the groom?
Groom, where are you?
Oh, yeah, he’s still out there…somewhere. Maybe stuck in a relationship with a counterfeit Crystal. Perhaps he’s with a girl he believes is “the one” while his soul mate is sitting on a couch in Chicago, eating Tositios Hint of Lime Tortilla chips and writing a blog about single life. If you've lived long enough, you've been in a relationship once or twice where you've thought you’d finally found “the one”. No need to lie. We’re wired to think a step ahead, don't be embarrassed. But then at some point you realize “oopsies”, that relationship was for training purposes only. That was not it! There should be like a disclaimer or something like you see on the back of the CPR doll that warns you before you solely invest your interest in a person when in actuality there could be someone out there better for you.
“This relationship is to be used for training purposes only. Some of the procedures, field tests, and other operating procedures as experienced throughout this relationship may be different than actual on-site procedures. Therefore, details of this relationship should not be assigned across the dating experience as specific circumstances and current standards and behaviors are merely in preparation for “the one”.
(What does that even mean? “The One?” I’ve contemplated greatly on this, even argued with friends on whether or not I believe in soul mates. I haven’t decided. But I do believe there are men who are on the same frequency. Who just…get me.)
So how will you know? You've gotta face some challenges first. You've got to give it time. Don’t ignore the red flags. Don’t marry, Mr. Wrong. Realize all things work together. You've attracted every relationship into your life to evolve yourself and to learn lessons. When the lessons are fulfilled or the relationship stops evolving you have to release it because more lessons and evolution must enter to help prepare you for that tortilla chip eating lady (or man). As you reminisce about the man or woman you once thought was the “ONE”, see the truth of how this experience has molded you, how your expectations, your patience and tolerance have changed. You will now understand why you were placed together to begin with and why your journey together ended. You will see the lessons and how you grew from the experience, and thus your awareness has increased and your heart has expanded in preparation for the relationship you long for.
So while the hold of singledom still keeps me in its grasp, I will speak this little tidbit into the universe in hopes that as it leaves my MAC Ruby Woo lips it will speak ever so softly to “the one”, wherever he is. “Take your time, sir. Learn your lessons. Count your blessings. Experience the evolution process that only true love relationships can cultivate. Go through your training, your preparation, because when you get here you'll have a very expensive wedding to pay for.”
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