Ugh. Readers, friends, I have to take a moment to vent to you. I hope you'll understand. It's not you, it's me. It's irrational, silly-assed me. I've wasted another one of my son's naps.
I generally await the time when Harrison falls asleep each day with a mounting list of exciting things I could do. Some days it's to also take a nap. Some days it's to go outside with the baby monitor and get some sun on my head--yay, Vitamin D! Some days it's to be productive around the house, or productivity involving creative endeavors. Sometimes I blog, work on my costumes, make a project for a client, watch a movie I've wanted to see. Whatever it is, I have a goal and once my precious angel is in Slumber Town, I do whatever that thing is.
Some days, though, it goes awry.
Today I had the goal of making sleeves for one of my Dragoncon costumes. Guys, I hate making sleeves. I have "curvy" arms that come from narrow shoulders and end in slender wrists. They're odd-shaped. If a sleeve has no give, I will Hulk right out of it. It's a curse. I've learned how to make good sleeved items for myself: use stretchy fabric. But today I needed to add them to a gown with a chiffon overlay. If you've never worked with chiffon, let me tell you, it's like sewing smoke. It's the devil in fabric form. It's impossible to keep it straight, when you pin it, it slides all over the place, and you have to do complicated stitching to keep it from immediately unraveling (unless you have a serger, which I do not). I successfully made my gown and bodice using the cursed stuff, but I neglected to make the sleeves my character's costume calls for. Crap.
The other day, I was working on a different costume and it turned out I'd gotten the size wrong for the top of the dress. I had to seam-rip the entire bodice off the thing, only to discover the pattern pieces I needed were M.I.A. So, I took a bodice from a different pattern, Frankensteined the thing together, and ended up with a great dress at the end of the day! BAM! So, I decided I could make some little chiffon sleeves, being a sewing badass now, and all.
I followed the pattern and cut out the chiffon sleeves. I pinned them before heading to the sewing machine, but then thought maybe I oughta slip one over my arm first, just to see. Not even CLOSE to a good fit. Dammit. So, I measured around my arm, cut the pattern pieces out bigger, and pinned again. This time they fit... unless I bent my arm in any way. The chiffon just has no give whatsoever. As I wondered what to do next, the baby monitor started to crackle. "No..." I said quietly. "Shhhhh, baby." He couldn't hear my shushing, being a floor above me, but I squeezed my eyes shut and listened until the crying and "Mama?" began. I sighed. I may have thrown a wad of chiffon across the room. A whole nap, a whole hour, wasted, with nothing to show for it but two pairs of sleeves that wouldn't work in a million years. At least I didn't sew them on without trying them first, only to have to seam-rip them off again in a blind rage.
I was frustrated for awhile, but then I remembered the early days with my baby boy. When he napped, I used to just hold him close to me and breathe him in. I used to stare at his sweet face and then snuggle up on the couch with this miracle in my arms. When he napped, the world didn't exist. Who knows how I ever got anything done? So, I messed up on a creative project today. Who cares? I'll try again tomorrow. Today, my baby boy took a nap in his crib, clutching a plush sea turtle, and when he woke up, he wanted nothing in the world but his mommy and I was able to be there. Ya know? That's not such a waste of an hour after all. Maybe what I got during today's nap was a little bit of perspective.
Until next time... "I know you. I walked with you once upon a dream."
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Filed under: Storytelling
Tags: baby, baby schedule, chicago mom, chiffon, chiffon is the devil, cosplay, cosplay mom, costume, costuming, fabric, frustration, geek mom, nap, nap time, perspective, sewing, sincere mommy, sleepy baby, stitching, Tara Schile, they grow up too fast, time flies, toddler