Have any of you ever played a friendly game of 21 questions? Well if you haven't it's a game where you think of different questions to ask someone, or however many people are playing, to find out more about them. The questions can range from simple to complex depending on what you want to learn, and how bold you are with your curiosity.
It's a fun game to play during leisure time, but it's also something that should be done in the early stages of dating. There are many ways of finding out what you want to know about a new lust interest, however the best way to go about this is to play 21 questions for dating! If you don't know where to begin, start with these:
1. Do you live with someone?
This is good for you to know so there won't be any surprises if you're ever invited to their place. It's also a hint at whether or not they live with a current or exe lover.
2. Does someone live with you?
I know this sounds repetitive, but believe it or not there are a lot of people who reside under the same roof, but don't believe that they live with someone. Here's how you know of someone lives with you (or you live with each other): if your names are on the lease, and on utility bills that you both pay then someone lives with you, and you live with them.
3. Do you have any children?
This is helpful knowledge so you'll have an idea of how their time will be spent, and it's a look into how they are as a parent. If they don't, ask them if they want children in the near future, just so you'll know what to expect.
4. Are you dating anyone else?
Ask this question up front so you'll have an understanding of where you stand with them before you set your mind into commitment after a few dates, or in many cases after the first night. If they are honest enough to tell you they're seeing other people don't be upset. Take the news with a grain of salt, and do the same.
5. Are you married, separated or going through a divorce?
Ask...all...three! Why? Because you want to be clear about who you're potentially getting involved with, and you want to make sure they are completely single. No sense in sharing sloppy seconds when they're plenty of fish in the sea.
6. Were you born a male/female?
In today's society, you need to ask just to be sure.
7. What all do you do for a living?
It's good to know a persons occupation/s. It'll give you insight on their work ethic, and how much time they'll have for you.
8. Do you have any crazy exes I should know about?
Does this one need an explanation? Ask for your own safety.
9. Are you a hopeless romantic?
Romance is a big part of keeping things fresh in a relationship, so it's helpful to know if you're dealing with someone who'll sweep you off your feet, or stumble their way through the relationship.
10. What are some of your hobbies?
Knowing what a person likes to do will help when planning outings. It'll also let you know what you do and don't have in common.
11. Do you have any bad habits?
Smoking, excessive drinking, or anything else you can think of that can be considered bad habits are things you should be conscious of. This way you can make a well informed decision about what you're willing to tolerate.
12. What are your religious beliefs/practices?
If they have any at all you may want to be aware of them just in case your beliefs clash. Or you can use this as an opportunity to learn something new.
13. What are your top 3 deal breakers?
Everyone has something that turns them completely off! Knowing what makes your prospective "bae" tic can be beneficial to you in the long, or short run. So ask this question so you can avoid pushing their buttons at all costs.
14. What are your top 3 deal makers?
Being aware of what makes a person smile is always good, especially when you're trying to seal the deal. Quiz them about some things you think they may like, or simply ask them what turns them on.
15. What do you look for in a man/woman?
We're not talking about the superficial surface stuff. We're asking about the depth of the persons character. People often fall in lust with the physical attributes of someone (looks, career, style ,etc) but fail to fall for who the person really is. If the one you're interested in can't clearly define the character of the person they want then you may want to reconsider being with them. Why? Because if they're unsure about what they want then they can very well drag you into their confusion...and no one has time for that!
16. Is there anything specific you want to know about me?
Now you've opened the door for them to ask whatever they want, so be prepared to answer. However, If you want to be secret squirrel about yourself then skip this one, but it's only fair to disclose some dirt on who you are. After all you're getting the scoop on them. Right?
17. Are you on any social media sites?
Another must ask question. If the answer is yes go further and ask which ones, and what are your names /alias'. Once you get this info, start doing your research. You'll probably discover more about them from these sites than you will asking questions.
18. What was the length of your longest relationship?
A lot of people have longevity and fidelity issues, and you want to have an idea of their relationship stamina before you move things ahead. No matter what type of relationship it was ask how long it lasted and why it ended.
19. What do you want in a relationship?
If you ask this in the beginning you'll know if you can give them what they need, and if you're the person for them. If they've answered this and you sense that you're incompatible don't try to change who you are to meet their expectations. Bow out gracefully and make room for the ones who should be in your lives.
20. Do you think being friends first is important?
Many people jump into commitments before they know who they've committed to! Ask them what they think about being friends before lovers and other things. This will let you know if they value quality relationships.
21. How important is sex to you in a relationship?
You can ask this anytime you're comfortable, but it's a must ask question. You've gotta know where your partners head is when it comes to this subject because it can reveal what they may expect later on. This can also lead to other important q's like, how many partners have you had, what do you like in bed, so on and so on. Whether you think it's important or not definitely inquire about their bedroom history because it can affect your future.
No matter where you start on the list be sure you delve into asking as many questions that are in your head and on your heart. They're great conversation starters, and you'd be surprised at how much you have in common with someone, or the blatant differences between you two. One thing that amazes me is that we're quick and bold about sleeping with someone, but slow and shy when it comes to asking questions to find out who they really are. Take a few moments of your dating time to play 21 questions with a potential love interest, and discover who they are before you commit to them. Trust me, it's worth taking the time to do.
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? As a motivational speaker, and advocate for single women she inspires single women to search their souls rather than searching for a soul mate. She also inspires them to live their best single lives God's way! Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.