So is it Bruce or Caitlyn? And Other Unanswered Questions about the Jenner Saga

So is it Bruce or Caitlyn? And Other Unanswered Questions about the Jenner Saga

Let me start this diatribe by saying I know I'm no doctor. Nor am I an anatomy professor, geneticist or expert in homosexuality.

That said, the following candid thoughts may cause many of you impulsive or sensitive types to call me some version of a "bigot," but I swear I'm not that either.

I'm just a dude that accidentally moved into "Boystown" because I thought it was called "Lakeview." Turns out they keep the place real safe and real clean and they have great ****ing brunch.

I'm cool with gay folk. That makes sense to me. I can't, for the life of me, remember exactly when I decided to like girls, but I've watched baby videos of me trying to kiss my play date Meghan so aggressively I could've invented an infant sexual harassment.  So if I never made a pros-vs-cons list to decide on what gender I was attracted to, why would I assume gay people did? I at least understand that concept.

But transsexuals confuse the hell out of me.

Attraction is external, I can wrap my head around that. Some guys like boobs, some like butts, some like blondes and some brunettes... and then some like guys. Simple enough. But everybody expects me to successfully empathize with a state of mind that is in a perpetual battle against itself to define its core identity. I can't even begin to fathom that. I'm Matt Hartford. I've always been Matt Hartford. And if I started running around telling my friends and family to please start calling me Dr. Frederick Theopolous, they would worry that I've gone schizophrenic.

I don't know what's the difference between a schizophrenic that manifests alternate personalities and a transsexual that manifests alternate genders, and that's just the tip of my ignorance iceberg. Simply, to start, I always thought the basic definition of a woman involved not having a penis. Are we defining people by their mind now? While most people applaud Bruce's ability to reveal his "true self" as Caitlyn, I wonder why exchanging real body parts for fake body parts and a fake name is considered one's "true self." Is considering a man-made body "true" a reflection of a growing Western God-complex?

Now, please chill out for a second. I'm sure you want to punch me through the computer at this point for my "hurtful words." Take a sip of chamomile or something and hear me out. Because I truly just want to know those answers.

*Really, if you know any, please post in the comment section below.

I don't know everything, but nobody lets you just say that anymore. Everybody has to be completely certain what side they are on for everything. I'm curious, and curiosity is getting stymied. Kids that won't stop asking their parents "Why?" are silenced with either shushes or "Because I said so"s. If, struck by a sudden thought, a student speaks out of turn in class, the teacher tells them to raise their hand and wait or sit in the corner. Tests are multiple choice, cementing the idea that there's only one right answer to any question. Then you grow up and in those rare instances when Siri understands your question, that ditz still won't turn it into a lively debate.

And on this subject, any questions get you labeled as a bigot or a homophobe or some word defining you as a person full of hate for this group. I don't hate anybody. I just have honest questions that I eagerly await answers to.

The sexuality may confuse me, but Caitlyn's arrival isn't scary and it certainly isn't "wrong." Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner seems like a fine person. Bruce brought this proud country a Gold medal and inspired hundreds of young athletes. Caitlyn looked her prettiest and inspired hundreds of closeted transsexuals. Both were role models and both deserve respect.

There's been a lot of pushback against calling Caitlyn's transformation"courageous," comparing it against feats of battle in war. I find that akin to comparing Michael Jordan to the Spelling Bee champ. Not everybody is meant for the NBA and not everybody is meant for combat, but we all have battles. Whether beating a work deadline, lifting a heavier weight or simply conquering mental doubts, every day involves personal battles from which one can emerge defeated and courageous. And Jenner emerged courageous. Bravo.

That positive sentiment has been the consensus. Most are happy because this can finally "start the conversation" about transsexuality. So please don't throw around these accusations of hate until everybody's too scared to post anything other than an exhausting, repetitive droll of thoughtless "congratulations" messages. We have to let uncomfortable questions be asked to let any debate happen. Otherwise, as it's happening now, the only conversation about transsexuality will be about how we should start a conversation.

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