What Men Want, And Does It Matter?

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This week, I came across another one of Cosmo’s articles about What Men Want. Cosmo finds guys and asks them what they consider the most important thing in a girlfriend and then post the quotes like they’re some sort of gospel rather than the mumblings of some 23-year-old dude.

I swear, I’ve been reading these pieces since I was fifteen, trying to figure out how I should go about being “the perfect girl.” Now that I’m a little further along in my twenty-something journey, I know that I shouldn’t be so focused on what they want, but what I want. I shouldn’t be molding myself to fit the priorities of twelve faceless guys in Cosmopolitan magazine, but I should figure out who I am and what kind of man will make a good match for me.

With that in mind, let’s go through some of Cosmo’s men and see who has good priorities and who sounds like someone I would throw a drink at in a bar.

1.    Christian B. wants a girl who is a bad cook so he can wow her in the kitchen.

If you’re really a good cook, Christian, you shouldn’t need me to have lesser skills to impress me. I want a guy who is secure enough in his strengths that he doesn’t need me to water down mine.

2.    Andrew H. wants a girl who can hold her own in a debate.

Now Andrew sounds like a guy I could get along with. In a relationship, there are going to be disagreements. It’s not healthy if one person always gets his or her way—both people should be good at standing up for their opinions.

3.    Ryan G. wants a girl who pushes him to have a successful career.

I want to be in a relationship where both parties are supportive of each other’s career aspirations. But Ryan, you should be able to push yourself. I want to support you, but I don’t want to have to drive you.

4.    Alex R. wants a girl who is open to new things and is adventurous.

This is a great thing to want in a relationship! I love adventures, and I want the guy I’m with to be on board with taking them, not someone I have to drag along.

5.    Dennis R. wants a girl who is trusting and doesn’t get jealous easily.

Agreed. Jealousy and a lack of trust show someone who is insecure, and I want to be with someone who is secure in himself and in our relationship. That said, if you’re giving me a regular reason to be untrusting, we’ll have a different sort of problem.

6.    Oliver M. wants a girl who has come through struggles in her past stronger.

After a certain point, everybody has their baggage. Oliver is smart to want someone who has overcome previous issues. It’s definitely something that I want, too.

7.    Blake S. wants a girl who gets along with his friends.

Fair enough, Blake. It’s hard for me to stick to a guy that my friends don’t like because their support is important to me. It definitely makes sense that a guy would want the same.

8.     Alan A. wants a girl who can deal with his faults.

We all want someone who can deal with our faults, Alan. I guess it just depends on what your faults are. I’m not doing to write you a blank check.

9.     Max S. wants a girl who challenges him intellectually.

I’ll sign off on Max’s priorities. An intellectually stimulating relationship is extra sexy.

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    Katie Leimkuehler

    Katie Leimkuehler, co-author of the book series Shy Town Girls, works as a professional writer, blogger, and social media strategist. She has her MFA from Roosevelt University and teaches writing at College of DuPage and Writopia. She is also a contributing writer for Technori and Social Media Today. Previously she worked as the Manager of Social Media and Communications at the International Interior Design Association and prior to that she was a journalist for The Chicago Tribune. She received her bachelor’s degree in journalism and creative writing from Miami University of Ohio. Most recently her film “Ski Pioneer,” won Best Documentary at the Three Minute Film Fest in 2013.

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