The water's fine

Let’s face it take even a cursory look at my life and you’ll know that I am not really the most ideal person to take advice from. But, if you have a sense of adventure and humor then please, keep reading.

“Just jump.” That was my reply when a friend asked me what my biggest take away has been from these few months of unemployment and it is my advice to you. Yep, that’s it, just jump.

As of October of last year I already knew the approximate week I would be fired. The stars were aligning but in the back of my mind I was refusing to see it, I was hoping something would change even though I knew all the cards were stacked against me. And still, I wouldn’t jump.

I was applying for jobs but only perfect ones. I turned down interviews because I couldn’t “see myself” working there. My whole life was consumed in fog I wasn’t sleeping; I was eating terribly; I felt like crap all the time and still, I wouldn’t jump.

Some days I was so paralyzed in fear I could do nothing but sleep. My immune system tanked. Yet, I wouldn’t jump.

So instead, the world (boss/hr guy) pushed me and I started to free-fall.

I’ve landed on my feet but only because as my life entered a perceived tailspin the most amazing thing happened. A net appeared. A net made up of more people than I can count and all of them, people who cared about me. They came out of the woodwork and said things like “what do you need?” “I’ll send out your resume,” “I know of a job at…” and “It’s ok, if you need a place to live, we can put bunk beds in my room,” and all of them meant it. All of these people were willing to go out of their way to help me. I was, and remain humbled.

I just wish that I hadn’t waited to be pushed. I wish that I’d have had the guts to take life into my own hands and jumped. By allowing the world (or a boss/HR guy to be exact) to push me I turned over the path of my life to it (them). I became the victim in my own story. Learn from me, the hero of your story and just jump.

It’s possible I wouldn’t have had to fall if I had just jumped. It’s possible I would have flown. Or maybe done some kind of roller coaster thing where the fall was more like a dip that lead to an up.  Or maybe I would still have fallen but looking but I can promise you the fall would have been easier. I know now if I had opened my eyes and seen through the fog I would have known there was a net there to catch me.

Since January 16th I’ve started jumping. I’ve taken risks to see about a boy, I jumped off the Stratosphere (that was more a literal jump but you really should do those two, getting your heart racing like that is healthy, I think), I’ve applied for crazy jobs in crazy places, I decided to eek out a meager living by writing, a dream I’ve had since I was little girl, and I’ve opened my mind and heart to people by putting my thoughts in print. I haven’t “stuck the landing” on all these jumps (especially not the jump off the Stratosphere) but alas, I’m ok. You will be too. Your net will appear. Just jump.

Today I make my next jump into a new job.  As I sit here thinking about it, knowing I have to leave “for work” for the first time in months in just 10 minutes I’m nervous, my heart is racing, my breath is a bit shallow but there is no fog; I can see clearly. There is only one thing left to do…

And you should do it too. Just jump.

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