The top 5 things I learned in therapy...

Today I’d like to share with you the top 5 things I learned in therapy. I paid good money for this stuff but I offer it to you for free.  Good luck with them though. They are fairly easy to learn but hard to master.

1. Feel your emotions. Feel them all the way.  Then move on. If you are sad, be sad. Feel it, own it. Cry, and then be over it. If you are mad be mad. Yell, stomp your feet. And then be over it. When you don’t feel your emotions they stay just below the surface waiting to explode, usually at wrong person or the wrong time.  Do everyone a favor and feel your emotions.

2. That said… just because your emotions are valid but it doesn’t mean they are important. Go ahead and be angry, it’s good you are feeling that but, and I mean this nicely, no one cares. You are free to feel and experience every emotion but your emotions should never be the responsibility or problem of anyone else. No one else has to change their lives in any way just because you are sad or angry or whatever. Your emotions, your problem.

3. Nervousness and excitement manifest nearly identically on a physiological level, because of this the brain sometimes confuses the two. When you think are nervous double check that your thinker hasn’t accidently mixed up these two emotions. Even if it really is nervousness, try to reframe it as excitement.

4. Emotions are meant to be fleeting. You shouldn’t ever be constantly feeling any emotion (good or bad). If you are walking around angry all the time, you need help. Similarly, you shouldn’t always be experiencing joy either (it leaves you no room to go up). Most of us live our day to day to lives somewhere around peacefully content which allows us to ride out the highs and lows of day to day life.  Strive for that place.

5. Change is HARD work. In therapy this means if you are just going to therapy to talk and think you’re going to get better, you are kidding yourself. Therapy only works when you put in the work to change the way you think and act in relation to yourself and the world around.  Outside of therapy this means that the sooner you accept that things are going to be hard sometimes the easier life will be. When you ready for the work, you can kick its ass before it kicks yours.

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