This is the second part of a two part series interview with Tasi, a former international corporate executive who is now retired and living in Mexico. Tasi is the founder of Sister House, a website offering resources for the cross-dressing and transgender community. From fashion to dealing with family issues to laws to protect the rights of this community, her site is wildly popular.
Tasi is married with adult children and came out as a cross-dresser to her wife after many years of marriage. Being a cross-dresser takes courage to tell the truth. It is something that they are born with and many cross-dressers come out later in life as they are busy making money for their families and raising children. Yet, there is a time when they want to embrace this alter-ego, the woman in them, and are compelled to finally level with their loved ones.
Largely a lonely road for cross-dressers who have in the past hidden this part of themselves, times are changing as more of them get in touch with their femme side and desire have a more balanced life. Tasi shares how she has dealt with her cross-dressing with her family and what she thinks the “next-steps” are for cross-dressers.
What are some of your current challenges you have in your marriage as a cross-dresser?
Finding balance between my cross-dressing activities, including the website, and our normal husband-wife relationships. This is particularly difficult because of the hours spent on the website and the fact that I am now retired and do not have many other outside activities. I did learn one very important message from my wife, do not take her things without permission and that extends to jewelry and hats.
Do your children know you are a cross-dresser? If, yes what is their response? If no, why have you not told them?
No, they do not know, nor do they need to know, at least not now. I doubt it could be kept a secret once known and frankly, my wife is embarrassed by my activities, hence the silence.
Would you recommend telling your wife early in the relationship or before marriage about their cross-dressing?
Of course yes, but there’s more to it than that. Some wives are just not accepting of this part of our lives and it’s better to keep the marriage than allow cross-dressing to break it up. This holds true for late disclosure. In my case, recognition of the true nature of my cross-dressing did not come until later in life, and then I told. If you are a frequent cross-dresser before the marriage, the prospective wife should absolutely be told. The possible consequences are otherwise dire.
If you could cross-dress full-time and be accepted, would you?
Difficult answer. There’s no doubt I would dress much more frequently, but I am not transsexual and do not dislike my male parts. I love women and like being with them as a man and wearing their clothes, too. Go figure!
Where do you see cross-dressers fitting into our society? Is it time for them to “come out?”
I think more and more of them are coming out as society changes and transgender people are getting better press. Films like Amazon’s “Transparent” series and the many documentaries due out this year will go a long way in building understanding and acceptance by the general public. The younger generations are also much more accepting. The conservative Christian effort to ban transgenders from the bathrooms has given us political visibility and the Federal government’s effort through the EEOC has given us more protections as have many state efforts to ban discrimination of the LGBT community. Times are changing, but we are not there yet. Cross-dressers will likely be the last to gain acceptance due to our highly-closeted nature.
With laws protecting the transgender community in some states, do you think more cross-dressers will come out at work?
See above response. I doubt we will see any significant improvement in cross-dresser visibility in the workplace, except for those who are transitioning.
What’s the next step for the cross-dressing community?
We need to continue to build a positive image of cross-dressers. This is easier said than done because there are a significant number of fetish dressers in our community who continue to support the “draq queen” image that we have. However I and some of my sisters are making inroads, particularly in the academic and college communities through the many presentations that we make. As the younger generation changes, so will society eventually. I would encourage all your readers to visit our Library section in Sister House to learn more about cross-dressing and transgenderism and to learn how the wives think and respond to us. Education needs to be our focus and our section on Outreach will provide you a much greater understanding of who we are.
If you don’t know, we could be your doctor, your dentist, your plumber, your local cop, or even your minister. By in large, we are educated men with families that have the same issues in everyday living that you do. We just have a much prettier package to go with it.
Thank you, Tasi for giving us a glimpse of your life and an insight on the journey for a cross-dresser.
Interviewee, Tasi is the founder of the Ladies of the Blue Ridge transgender group in Roanoke VA. She’s a prolific writer, commentator and blogger including fashion articles for Tri-Ess, TG Forum, Repartee, and Pretty T-Girls magazine. She’s also the founder of the Yahoo group, TG Woman, and the author of the book, “Top Ten Fashion Mistakes by Crossdressers and How to Fix Them”, available on Amazon. Her website, Sister House and her blog, the Fashionable TG Woman feature information in the areas of fashion, beauty, relationships, resources, and shopping with emphasis on fashion and style for the transgender woman. Tasi is married and now retired after a long international career in business. Tasi and her wife, Janet, reside in Mexico. Tasi’s other interests are cooking (Certificate in French Cooking) and sailing.