Yes, I Am For Real

I’m an enigma.

Society would have me by other names: slut, whore, tramp (to name a few). But I don’t mind those names so much. I kind of relish in them, actually. Deep down, it’s who I am.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ve had my share of long-term relationships. I have a daughter as a result of a four-year, live-in boyfriend.  I’ve been in love. I’ve spent plenty of nights staying in with my sweetie rather than a night with the girls. I can be that girl.

But my motto is: when I’m not with somebody, I’m with everybody.

And I mean it.

After my ex and I split, it was time for me to remember how to have sex. I’d nearly forgotten- in this particular LTR, we rarely made time for SEX. Quite frankly, we just didn’t like each other most of the time, and even if we weren’t fighting we were tired or lazy. Porn helped a bit, which is how I learned about was my gateway drug to alternative sex. I explored the site a little when I was in a relationship, but later I found it to be portraying the exact scenarios I was involving myself with: bondage, discipline and submission. I discovered I liked being roughed up a bit, and I especially enjoyed taking orders.

But this was just the beginning of where I was headed. I would soon find myself in all sorts of predicaments, my lusty little self being unable to contain my excitement. I’ve juggled as many as six men at a time, and that doesn’t include men who do not live in the metropolitan area. I’ve been to a dungeon and I’ve had sex in public. I’ve had one-night stands and ongoing encounters. I’ve been with a personal trainer, a professional musician, and a business owner. I enjoy group encounters and consider myself bisexual. I enjoy my freedom to the hilt.

What can I say? I like sex. But you’d never know it if you met me.

It’s not that I’m one of those quiet, unassuming types. Just the opposite, in fact.  I’m in sales & marketing and I’m a bit of a badass bitch when I want to be. But I also have manners and class. You’d never assume this chick was just a whisper-in-the-ear away from banging the busboy in the bathroom.

Honestly? I think most people have this sex drive. But they repress it- especially women. After all, society would call them sluts if they behaved on impulse.

And yet, so often, I do just that. Which is probably why I end up having to tell so many men that yes, I am, in fact, real.

You’re welcome.

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  • ...this is music to my ears!

  • So . . . you aren't worried about getting a disease or putting your family in danger? No offense, but your attitude seems to be the sexual equivalent of obesity.

    I don't mean to discourage you. I'm sure this will be an interesting blog.

  • OF COURSE I'm worried about getting a disease. OF COURSE I don't want to put my family in danger. Just because I have copious amounts of sex does not mean I do not use protection, get tested on a regular basis and take precautions to protect what's precious to me. I don't bring strange men home, and I do not bring men home when my daughter is with me (which is most of the time).

    No obese person counts their calories like this girl.

  • You sound just a wee bit - teeny tiny bit -- jealous of Ms. Adlon.

  • And ... no offense Jenna ... (jeez, talk about passive-aggressive, how's that working out in your relationships?) ... but your attitude is the equivalent of life-cancer. Carpe Diem, for we will be cold in the ground a looooong time. And it's just around the corner ..... tick tock tick tock .... tick tock.

  • If it makes you happy...

  • When a man acts this way, it's normal. When a woman acts this way, she's a slut. You're being smart, and don't let anyone tell you it's wrong.

  • You naughty little slut! I meant that as a compliment.

  • Jenna brought a healthy dose of Debbie downer with her, didn't she?

  • GD Why didnt I guess you would have follwed that link on the right over here? And where are all the other guys?

    Jenna- You make me sad.. and I'm guessing your husband feels the same way.

  • Hey Jenna. You're right. Sure, let's never have sex or enjoy our potential in life. Instead, let's play it safe by banging the same person for the rest of our lives and repressing every natural and God-given desire that we have in our bodies and programmed into every single strand of our DNA. Let's put bars on our windows and extra locks on our doors. Let's treat everyone suspiciously and stop our kids from going to parties or even leaving the house. But most of all let's not enjoy our bodies to the fullest and just wait it out until we die, never having taken the road less travelled, never having taken a risk in life. In fact, why leave the house at all if you have the money. Have your macrobiotic, allergen-free, gluten-free, low-fat food delivered by a government-approved, non-Muslim delivery boy. Hey, don't even take the risk of letting them on your premises - just open up your letterbox and have him fire 'em in there. Order travel DVDs or just surf the web for interesting places you might have gone if we lived in a perfect world where there was no risk of a plane-hijacking or a robbery at your destination.

    But certainly don't leave your house.

    Imagine walking into a 711 and breathing in other peoples germs and all the nasty stuff you could contract from a stranger. Did you know there are over 1200 different types of bacteria in your belly button alone? We should realise that death is around every corner and keep as far away from people and the outside world as possible, contacting one another solely via the internet, and preferably keep our sexual desires to ourselves and deny nature its natural course.

    Phhhffft. Balling is our prime directive.

    Allison, you go girl, celebrate life, celebrate your power as a woman (cos no man can juggle six women, nor could he have the choice of doing so outside of Billionaire status, or residency in Thailand). Accept who and what you are - I salute you, my queen of reality and truth.

    Go Bears!

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