When I think summer I think lighter, more open, less structured – but with kids, the lack of structure can be initially brutal and anxiety provoking.
I say initially because I have done this enough times now to know that we eventually find a flow, we get back into a routine; somehow we become comfortable with the less rigid days.
We take advantage of staying up a little later and sleeping a little later.
We spend time in water, or at ballparks, or in the backyard rather than feeling cooped up, overcommitted, or trying to just keep it together.
We have some camps here and there, there are a few things scheduled, but they are kid-friendly events with shortened time schedules; they are certainly less heavy than a school day with overwhelming extracurricular activities shoved between 3 – 8 pm.
Summer is an opportunity to be slower and gentler, to flow a little more and run a little less.
But today is our first day of summer, and I am feeling so uncomfortable, definitely shaken up by this annual shift.
I am tempted to create a schedule, simply out of habit or anticipation. I am getting the “I’m boreds” already, I am feeling the need to entertain or fill in the calendar.
But I’m holding my seat. I’m resisting the overwhelming urge to make summer look and feel like the rest of the year.
I know that sitting in this discomfort is part of the process. Instead of attempting to make the feeling go away by planning it all out, I am focusing on calmness and breathing; I’m also saying “I don’t know” a lot.
Changes, big and small, are uncomfortable, and I'm riding it out.
Our house is shaking off the crazy end-of-the-year energy; we are all trying to figure out how to feel or what to do next.
In this moment I want to control or somehow make certain, but I can’t and I won’t. Summer deserves better.
Having done this many times before, I know the feelings of discomfort are temporary, fleeting.
My summer groove is on its way, and that thought makes me smile.
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