The problem with no right answers and needing to be right

A long time ago I ate whatever food was in the store, did whatever my doctor told me to do, and watched television with no concern for my mental well being.

Now I have to worry about what I’m eating – are the vegetables organic? And if they are organic, were they washed? And if I wash them, is my water full of chemicals?

Now I don’t have one healthcare practitioner, I have several (medical and holistic), and they all offer me differing opinions….Dairy is essential, or Dairy is bad for you.  Vaccines are essential, or Vaccines are bad for you.  Medicine is essential, or Medicine is bad for you.

Technology that was created to help us has made our lives more difficult; taking over our time and our ability to communicate, and we are left alone to decide how much is too much, for ourselves and for our children.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things we have to consider on a daily basis.  It’s difficult to know who is the expert and who is interested in our well being, and it leaves us all feeling alone, vulnerable, and unsure about our choices.

And we wonder why we feel anxious?  We wonder why we get defensive when anyone questions our decision making?

We are overwhelmed with our ability to advocate for ourselves and our family, and we are overwhelmed by the amount of information being thrown at us on a daily basis.

And while there are no easy answers, the best we can do is take it moment by moment.

We live at a time of differing and diverse perspectives, and we live in a world that is changing constantly, so we can only do what we know right now.

We can’t plan too far ahead, and we can’t hold on to old mistakes – we have to embrace our own present-moment clarity so we can attempt to make the best game-time decisions.

And while we still live in an age of information, we need to tap into our ability to “feel” what is right for us. We can read everything under the sun, but in the end there will still be 20 different jars of organic coconut oil on the shelf (a personal experience from last week…).

How do we know which one to choose?  We have to tap into that gut muscle, trust ourselves, and roll with it.  And we have to be fluid enough to know that we may come back another time for a different coconut oil, but today, right now, this is the best choice.

Too simplistic, maybe.  But our anxiety over doing everything correctly has become the real epidemic, because there is absolutely no way to do it right all the time.  There is no way to not make a mistake; there is no way to be on top of everything.

So while I do my due diligence when it comes to coconut oil, or anything else for that matter, I am also learning to be fluid with my choices, let go of the need to be right all the time, and trust what feels right in the moment.

These choices may not immediately solve the deeper problems of our time, but these are the choices that allow me to smile during the day and sleep at night.

Maybe instead of needing be right or have all the information, we can become present-day experiencers and open-minded learners.

Maybe we will become more forgiving of ourselves and more understanding and compassionate when others make mistakes.

Maybe we will begin to understand that there is no one way; there is only this day, this moment, and this choice; right now.


Cathy blogs about coconut oil and she talks about it, too! Click here to check out Zen Parenting Radio, the podcast she co-hosts with her husband.

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